For people that aren't loved

-Packing the stuff-

Nico Ernest Campos
Today is the Day I'm packing my stuff and the we're moving out. I'm so excited. It's the only thing I could think about the whole week. Maybe I'll finally meet real people, if they exist. Maybe I'll meet a platonic soulmate.
There is so many things going on in my head. Moving will give me more motivation and finally hope. It could only get better in my life.. Am I Right? You have to know I recently started playing bass and it's so much fun. I can't play a song right yet but I'll get there. I could imagine there are people that want to build a band. And maybe I'll be in there. I mean I heard people love music in that school. I probably won't talk anyways with anyone since I kinda have social anxiety and I don't want to be the People Pleaser anymore or again. Well let's not bring up memories and get to packing. This house is pretty small and the other house will be way bigger. That means I can go get new and better clothes. My closet is way too bright sometimes. I once only dressed in colours. Never again. People might say it brings out my personality but I prefer my outfit black and oversized. I once wore dresses and skirts when I was about 6 years old. They seemed super comfortable and they were black but people judged me because of it which made my anxiety come in. Remember I was 6. 6 years old and I already had anxiety. Then my sister died and I had the worst life ever. To this day it either got worse or it got better and then something big happened and I wouldn't even go out of my room. I'm glad my parents are nice but they work a lot. Without them I would probably be with my sister way happier. I probably should be glad they saved me. They always listened and never sent me to a therapist. They always tried to help in any situation. The universe probably has something saved for me. That's the only reason I don't have that much bad thoughts. I'm excited for my future. I don't see love in my future but friends that support me and would give the world to me. My sister actually was the opposite of me. She would love to have a big family and a beautiful Partner and she even would leave her friends since her partner should be her best friend. A crazy dream for a little girl. She said I would be the best man and be the wedding Organizer. She already choose a theme back in the days. She wanted it to be gender switch so that boys wear dresses and girls wear suits. Her ideas always were the cutest. I wonder if her dream would change if she was here and if. What would it be. Probably having a pig as her pet.
By the way pig. I have a plushy which is a pig. I'm gonna put it in my bag with my other plushy which was a panda. I already packed my clothes and the important stuff. I should pack the memories now. A photo of me and my beautiful family. This is the most special one. It was Christmas we all stood in front of the tree and me and my sister were hugging and everyone was laughing and smiling. This was my sisters last Christmas. If I knew I would give her the biggest present ever. She would hit more for spending too much time on it and I should spend it differently. She didn't like when you gave her the world. She is just happy with a strawberry plushy or something. If you mean a lot to her she would show it off and place it somewhere in her room so everyone can see. On her last Christmas I gave her my favourite hoodie and the pig plushy which is mine now. She wore the hoodie every day as a pyjama and she cuddled the pig every night I was singing her to sleep. She never let go of stuff I bought her. If she would live, she would be the biggest present God ever made. If you knew her in real life she would give you the best memories and the biggest smiles.
The other memory I wanted to put in my suitcase was my first instrument which is a ukulele. My mom gave it to me when I was 12. It's the first time I smiled after my sisters death. And I mean real smile not just a fake smile. I never really real smile except it's a memory that means a lot. I still play the ukulele. I learned a new song called " I don't know my name". I sing it every Friday for my family. Every Friday I have a concert for my family so I can improve my skills and get it to the next level.

The last memory that is important is a book with poetry in it. My dad gave it to me not long ago. It was on my 17th birthday which was a week ago. He knows I love writing songs and poems. He wrote a really nice note to it with meaningful words but I lost it somehow. I don't have much time anymore till we drive so I closed my suitcase and went downstairs.
"Finally my beautiful child is here." My mom hugged me and leaded me to where I should sit. My dad saw me and smiled at me I gave a weak smile back. My mom got in the car too after putting the suitcase in. And that's when the new journey began...