Hamberger sits down with the egg and watches it with her Hamberger eyes. She stares at it and waits.
5 minutes pass...
10 minutes pass...
15 minutes pass...
"Alright this stoopid hecking kid is not hatching and I'm not gonna sit here in silence and wait for this stoopid hecking kid pig to hatch while I watch it with my very real Hamberger Eyeballs©."
Hamberger flips through her meaty thighs and finds her very real very legitimate Apple AirPods Pro White and puts them in her ears. Little does she know, they are uncharged and everyone in the world can hear her putting on her shitty podcast...
Today we will be exploring the namaste aspects of the Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO. Everyone must lay on their backs and close their eyes.
Hamberger does not have a back. Hamberger flops on the floor and lets out a loud moan.
Now we must put our legs up in the air and sing heeha with the Anthem that our lord has blessed us with.
Hamberger does not have legs, but instead pushes her bottom bun as far up in the air as she can. The egg does not have eyes yet, and for that it should be thankful. This was not a sight anybody wanted to see, Hamberger is exposing herself in the middle of a field.
"HEE HA!" Hamberger shouts in the manliest voice she can muster.... and with slight arousal.
Now we wiggle our Squiggly Ballsacks™ EXTRA violently because it's what Daddy LMFAO would have wanted. Everyone! Expose yourself in ways that you've never been exposed in before!
Hamberger grunts in satisfaction as she rubs her buns faster than she ever has before. The egg rattles a little bit as the friction that Hamberger is creating runs through the ground. The earth below her starts to shake but she doesn't notice because she just keeps rubbing.
"Can you feel that too?" Harley asks Rachel as they continue to chase Peppa.
"You mean the violent shaking and the sound of all the trees behind us falling?"
"Yeah that! And also the moans of a giant entity entering our atmosphere?"
"I feel it."
They continue running.
Now as the song plays in your ears and you listen to the sweet sweet words of Daddy LMFAO, turn on your stomach and kiss the ground beneath you.
Hamberger grunts sexually one more time as she releases her buns and flips on her side so her weird Hamberger face faces the ground. She puckers her patty and starts salivating violently. She kisses the ground the best she can and it starts shaking even more than before. It has gotten to the point where the egg looks like it's breakdancing besides her.
The ground splits open beneath them. Hamberger jumps out of her trance and starts panicking. Her buns are frilled, her patty is soaking wet, her lettuce quite crisp, her saucy LMFAO podcast has reborn her into a new Big Mac. She ninja rolls over to the egg and absorbs it into her being for safekeeping. She cha-chas real smooth out of the way of the crack and plops down into a safe area where she can still see the crack opening.
A low rumbling comes from the crack. That low rumbling disturbs anyone within a 2 foot radius. Slime starts pouring out of the crack and gets the bottom of Hamberger's very new transformed bun a little wet.
"IT IS I, THE WAP-"
before the WAP could finish its sentence, a really lumpy cloud with kankles, who was strolling by, stops in its tracks out of pure curiosity of the VOLUPTUOUS lady parts that emerged from the earth.
"woah, my guy, thats a sick poon you got there" the cloud says in a surfer guy voice
the WAP doesnt have a face, but you can tell it is angry by the comment. it visibly does a kegel as air shoots out of the opening. the cloud is blown away and moans as it dissapears into the atmosphere. The WAP consintrates on where it left off.
"I HAVETH HEARD THE SOUNDS OF MY PEOPLE. WHO HAVETH SUMMONED ME?"
the Hamberger stepped out of the tree line to show herself. she said nothing. the WAP took one look at her and said:
"Oh, please. Spare me of your banality. Do not try to seduce me nor bore me with the belligerence of your insolence."
"did... you just call me fat?" the Hamberger asked
"if theres anything PHAT here, its this big, morbidly obese,okra sticky, tsunami watch, Cowabunga, [ the opening of Icky Thump by the White Stripes plays in the foreground], Slip n' Slide, back talking, aloe vera plant, "Come get y'all juice", silky, lip gloss tube --THE WHOLE TUBE, Enter The Dragon, death grip, paraben free, ARE YOU READY KIDS, accessories included, bubble blowing, AYE-YE CAPTAIN, loud, schmacking, Soul Surfer, adept waterbending, pinhole tight coochie that stands before you, my thane."
"my lord" Hamberger bows before the WAP
"Retched is how I feel as I spew these words of hostility around my lips. This strange land, is the beauty of my seduction, oh, how I long to ravish the concubines of its clavicle. but first we must silence these rawrs that stem from my fundus, for it is only fit for a queen such as I to to dine on revenge after a day of duley wages. you, my Hamberger, my seed, my young loin, the mirrored me that spews from my mayonnaise, you must save the befriended and ravish the opposing side." The WAP says poetically
"I did not understand a word of that" the Hamberger states
"Neither did I. what i'm trying to say is, I know who you are, Hamberger. And I know that your friends are in trouble" the almighty WAP responds
"how are they in trouble, my lord?" Hamberger asks
"well, since Carl wont say it, I will. Ive been watching over you guys since you pulled up to the dog house. I was going to help you guys right then and there but a force much bigger than mine stopped me and put me in the ground. You see, Carl has been keeping the real Identity of the one who put the curse on Harley a secret. and his own identity as well."
"Carl's... not Carl?" Hamberger says confused
"No, Carl IS Carl, but he is also a hairless goddess, and you may be wondering what that is, and ill explain to you. he was supposedly created to procreate with every person with a vagina in the Tri-State area, and Wisconsin to create tentacle children to repopulate the world after the humans destroy it. But there's more to it than that. you see, I know something that Carl doesn't know about himself."
"and what is that?" she asks
"... that its all a lie"
YOU ARE READING
harleys wet halloween suprise
Horrorharley is a 14 year old whateverthefuck and her sister is an urn named markie that says racial slurs in spanish very aggressively. she finds herself walking in on people doing the nasty multiple times a DAY. she goes on a quest to find the one and o...
