It started with a carousel

Funeral Arrangements

Today was the day. The day I had to bury my mom. I knew today would be hard for me.

Everyone was here. All my coworkers. All except him.

Figures. He doesn't want to hurt me.

We were outside at the graveyard. We were all sitting listening to the family.

I had already said stuff about my mother. I missed her very much.

When everyone was finished they put her body in the ground. I lost it twice. I balled and balled. I couldn't help it.

She was my only family, my best friend. And now she was gone.

I walked away from the casket and looked around. A small white rabbit came up to me, I bent down and pet it.

It wiggled its nose and hopped off.

My mother always wanted a white rabbit.

She loved the way they wiggled their noses.

" you okay?" Bex walked up to me.

I nodded. " yeah just... it's weird you now?"

She nodded.

"I was just talking to her... and then.." she rubbed my back.

" hey you don't have to say it." She said.

I smiled at her and she gave me a hug.

After the funeral people normally come to the home. But I didn't really want them to today. I asked if it could wait another time. They all agreed and gave me some space.

All I wanted was for Ryan to walk through that door and kiss me and tell me he loves me.

He never will.

I went upstairs and I got into the shower. Hopefully it'll ease my mind. I was hurting and nobody really made it easier or vanish.

I got out and didn't even put clothes on. I just layed on the bed. I was tired. I wanted some sleep.

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.