Is it worth it? {a Tommyinit fanfiction DISCONTINUED}

The park

{Edited}

{the song up there is an actual song that Tommy listens to, its actually in his Spotify playlist}

Tommy's pov~

    walking down the sidewalk I pulled my phone out of the pocket of my cardigan, turning it on looking at the time. shit, was it really that late? it was now 2:00 Am and I was just walking to a park how much stupider can my actions get? wait scratch that going to a park at night can be awesome, in fact, it's one of the few things that actually relax me nowadays.

   ya know the constant worry that something bad's gonna happen, that no one likes you, that you're always doing something wrong. All very scary, stressful, and horrible feelings although I'm used to them by now honestly.

   I looked up from my phone feeling a sudden cold rush of the wind against my face I sniffled a little, feeling my face I only just now noticed how cold my face was. I sigh as I take a left entering the entrance of the park, I heard most parks close after 10 pm but this park stayed open I never really understood why parks even closed at night there was no reason for it.

   I walk over to the swings, there were three of them with all their own little sections. I choose to sit on the one on the far right. sitting down I pulled out my AirPods turning them on hearing the familiar 'do, do!' indicating they had connected to my phone.

  

   I pulled up Spotify putting the playlist 'classics' on, the song redo by Modern Baseball now playing, the familiar song playing with all of its relatable and partly depressing words that I knew well. seems the world knows me too well to decide to play this song.

   I look up to the sky to see all the beautiful stars and you could faintly see the milky way if you looked hard enough. I smile a genuine smile for once, the scene was beautiful I feel so lucky to just sit there and witness it. I get an idea as I get my phone back out taking a picture of the scene, maybe I could post this on Instagram...yeah! maybe change up the way I post.

   just this once. I put the caption as 'thought I'd share this beautiful scene :)' and hesitantly press the share button I instantly put my phone away not wanting to see the most likely comment or two asking why I was up so late, they didn't need to know and even if they did they'd be bugging me to sleep or something.

  

   I get up slowly looking around at my scenery, there were a few trees here and there, the grass was up to my ankles it was obvious that no one had mowed the grass in a long while, there was a basketball court type thing that was divided by fences making it have three sections 2 courts were what I presumed were for basketball while the last one was for what looked like hockey there was a playset with slides and things to climb on for kids as almost every park had. 

  wait, what is that? I squint my eyes trying my best to look out into the distance, I slowly started walking to see woods and a small path mixed with a hint of gravel here and there with dirt. "strange..." I muttered to myself. 

  this path hadn't been here before and if it had then I must have been just plain fucking stupid this pathway was so obvious how could I have not seen it before? I've come here multiple times during the past month me and Tubbo moved here together I had found the park the same way I found the coffee shop. pure coincidence, I loved finding stuff without a GPS when it wasn't an inconvenience to do so. 

  

   Should I walk down the path? it wouldn't hurt, would it? what if something bad happens? what if I get killed? 𝙄𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙬𝙖𝙮. shit. The voice....maybe it's right, maybe it wouldn't matter either way? I slowly start walking down the path while watching the scenery go by, I saw the occasional deer every now and again I could barely see though. I get my phone out of my pocket turning the flashlight on.

   I could see way better now, I look ahead of me to see...a path of flowers now? what is this some fucking fanfiction? I try my best not to step on any flowers cause they were actually really fucking pretty. there were some blue ones and some yellows, wait. are those roses? I start walking faster as I finally see an opening.

   I walk out of the exit to see something so beautiful. I gasp at the sight there were red, pink and white roses everywhere and a bench in the middle, I walk up to it gently putting my hands on the back of it it felt old like it had been here for years vines growing up the legs that kept the bench standing, there was also rust on the golden looking parts here and there. I slowly and gently sit down on the bench. 

  I didn't want to harm it in any way since I didn't know how long it had spent here. I look out to see a pretty decent sized field full of all kinds of flowers such as daisy's, buttercups, and sunflowers. but the most noticeable flowers were the black roses, they looked as if they didn't belong here as if they were difactant and out of place, but somewhat oddly aesthetically pleasing I get off the bench and crouch down next to one of them out of place flowers. it was as if it was talking to me in a way "I know how it feels to be different and feel out of place....don't you worry we can be friends!" I say to the flower as if it was an actual human being that could talk back. I felt as though I had to talk to it that way like it needed someone to talk to, I understood that feeling all to well...but often felt to drain and like no one wanted to hear about my stupid problems.

1,060 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨
𝘼𝙡𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙙𝙪𝙡𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙛𝙚𝙬 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄'𝙢 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙖 𝙙𝙖𝙮. 𝙃𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙮/𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩