Unleashed (The Gate Chronicles Book 3)

Chapter 12: Broken

Soft weeping filled the small clearing. Ryder sat in the center beside the rose bush, huddled up and letting the tears fall. Her gut clenched with the effort of keeping the tears quiet. Even out here where no one was listening, she still couldn’t let go all the way. She had to hold some back. It had become her habit.

It’s nearly time for the next step of my plan.

I don’t want to know…

Mmm… Sad. Well, if that’s your attitude, I’ll keep it a secret. Alyx teased, his tone light.

You’ll do what you want regardless of how I feel about it. Ryder wiped away the tears as they fell down her cheeks. But if you think that’s going to stop me from fighting, you’re wrong. I know who I am, Alyx. And who I am is someone who fights for what’s right. Someone who protects the things she holds dear. But most of all, I’m someone who will defend those who can’t defend themselves.

Don’t mess around with fire, love. You’ll get burned. Alyx warned.

Then so be it. I’ll fight you until I breathe my last breath. Ryder hissed at him.

He fell silent and left her to her silent cries. The constant ache of guilt and pain in her heart was incurable. She didn’t think she’d ever be better again. How could she be when she’d been instrumental in the deaths of others who were innocent of wrong doing?

Soft footfalls sounded and someone walked over to her and sat down. “Hey… What’s the matter?”

Ryder couldn’t look at him, but she knew it was Kane. A strong arm slipped around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. She melted into his embrace, no longer trying to conceal her tears. The loud, wracking sobs broke the stillness of the clearing.

Warm sunlight filtered through the trees onto the two friends as they sat together, one comforting and supporting the other. A soft breeze mulled over the scene as it brushed through the grass, and birds watched the two while they continued on their way. The only thing that broke the peace of the scene was Ryder’s tears.

“What’s the matter? I know it’s more than just what happened to those agents, Ry.” Kane gave her a squeeze and then held her at arm’s length to look into her face. “You can tell me anything, you know.”

Ryder shook her head. “I let those agents die.”

Kane frowned. “What? No, you tried to save them. You fought the imposter.”

She shook her head with more vehemence. “I lost. If I hadn’t, they would’ve lived. But I lost, so they died.”

“You can’t blame yourself for that. You fought for their lives and lost. But you did try. That’s what matters. You didn’t ignore the problem or let them die.” Kane held her by the shoulders and gave her a little shake. “You hear me? You didn’t let them die, and you didn’t kill them.”

A tear slid down her cheek. “I did.” She squeezed her eyes and mouth shut, hoping to keep in all noise and any tears threatening to spill. “I did.” She covered her mouth with her hand, and with one last, muted cry, she stood up and fled back towards the Base.

***

Kane held a hand up and started to call after her, but he stopped and let his hand drop back into his lap. She needed to be alone right now. He wasn’t of any use in this situation, and going after her might do more harm than good. Best if he let her sort herself out a bit before he went after her.

Anyway, her sister, Cassie, had told Ansgar she was coming to visit her sister shortly after Donnovan allowed Ryder’s release. Perhaps her sister would be able to help her to get past this. It wasn’t likely that Kane would be able to. He wasn’t the one she turned to for emotional support. Never had been, and probably never would be except in special, select cases. There had really only been once that he could think of that Ryder had come to him for emotional help and succor.