what it means to be good.

chapter 20: Morgauses past part I

  So you are telling me that she is the woman who raised you? Arthur asks with a questioning look. Morgause just nods at him and shrugs her shoulders. "It's complicated," she replies dryly her mood darkening. She stands up from her seat and looks straight at him. " but...how?" Arthur questions.

" how...You wanna know-how! Well let me think....." she puts her finger on her chin mockingly and continues. "Oh, I remember now. It was after your tyrant of a father threw me away. No, wait, It was my mother Vivienne with the help of Gaius who actually had enough heart to do so and, smuggle me, an infant, out of the city walls!" she says yelling the last part crossing her arms and looking away. Arthur has to cringe at how she called his father. He knew he was a bad man but nonetheless, he didn't like people badmouthing him, especially in front of him. He feels something creep up from the pit of his stomach...guilt. He never saw her looking so vulnerable, he needs to get to the bottom of this. They are in the middle of nowhere in a magical village. He needs answers. If she wants him to follow her along on this journey.

"Morgause...I...You chose your path even if all that happened. You strayed away from the right path and plus...." He doesn't want to say it he really doesn't, especially when they literally in a village of magic. But the words spill out before he even can stop himself. " plus you have  magic"

Morgause head turns in a matter of a second as her mood darkens even more. " Arthur Pendragon...you better choose your words wisely."
Arthur not wanting to back down feeling the need to defend himself, and trying to push the guilt away that he feels for everything he has done. Towards her people " Magic is evil, it destroyed you and it destroyed Morgana. If not for Magic maybe you wouldn't have turned out all evil and we could have been..I don't know....friends"

she doesn't know if she should feel angry, relieved, happy, or offended. " If I didn't have the magic I wouldn't have turned out like this, huh?" she voices out loud calmly. She sighs out loud and sits back down. She puts her hand on her eyes and rubs them softly " I forgot you grew up with that man. Do you really think magic was the problem? That having a gift should be seen as a curse? You have no idea how beautiful magic is in its purest form. The wonders it can achieve. Magic can be used as a weapon, yes. But weapons like your sword can also protect people. It's not magic that's evil it is the wielder. I...should know, look I was just blinded by rage and hatred. Just like your....father. I had to pay with my life to finally see the truth of what I became." Morgause says looking down in shame. Arthur is in shock, he knew that this isn't the Morgause he used to know. But hearing those words flowing out of her. He can say he felt it. every word she spoke is genuine. The feeling of sadness and regret plastered on her face. He looks around the space they are in to ponder. This tent they got from Morgauses foster mother. The woman didn't say much after Morgause called her mother. She just led them toward this area of tents which are placed at the outskirts of the village. He wanted answers but the air they were walking in left no opportunity for him to ask anything. She told them they can rest here for as long as they could. Looking around this....tent. He is still in awe of how magic works. The tent from outside doesn't look like it can harbor even one person. But as soon as they entered he found himself in a place big enough for a dozen men. He has to admit that magic always fascinates him. But growing up, he was always taught that magic is evil. It's the devil's plaything and no one should ever practice it. after seeing how magic changed Morgana. He finally found some truth in those words but seeing as to how Morgause actually feels. He doesn't know anymore. So he looks at her, she still looking down in shame so makes up his mind. He purses his lips and sits down on the floor in front of her . " how was your life?" he asks with a genuine expression. She moves her head up and looks down at him. " what?" she asks confused. He looks away for a moment trying to find the right words and back to meet her eyes. " tell me your story."