TRIGGER WARNINGS: The following themes are in this fic: self-harm, addiction, homophobia, abuse, abandonment, self-destructive behaviors and thoughts, suicidal thoughts. If you are not into serious angst, depression and dark fics, feel free to skip this one.
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Kurt Hummel was kind, and caring, introspective and strong, and was the kind of person who would take care of everyone around him, at one point in his life. But in the past couple of years, Kurt had turned into an individual no one could stand. He stopped caring about anyone, including himself and his senior year of high school was one bad decision after another. So, when Kurt got the acceptance letter from Charles and Baylen University (CBU), he quickly accepted their offer. He was lucky to have gotten into a college and knew he had to take up the opportunity or else his Dad would finally give up on him. Kurt had arrived at CBU on the first day of classes and hadn't even bothered to tour the campus or come to new student orientation. He had a horrible summer, and honestly, was surprised he even made it to campus.
That first day of classes had been the first day of the new Kurt Hummel. He got ready in bright green dress pants, and a short-sleeved white polo shirt with a floral embroidered collar, and while doing so thought of everything he was going to be. He was going to be happy, and appear innocent, and he'd be himself, as though he hadn't just lived the last year of his life as a juvenile delinquent. Kurt Hummel was going to be successful, and not waste his life away because his dad wants more for him, and if he was going to do anything, it would make his dad proud. Even though in actuality, Kurt was no fully convinced that he could trust himself not to screw up, he still willed himself to believe he could be someone new.
Kurt had gone about the first day of classes without too much trouble using the app on his phone of the university campus to figure out where he needed to be. But as soon as the day started winding down, and as he started to get hungry, he began to become frustrated. He sat down to try to figure out where to go, feeling stupid for not being able to find the only dining hall on campus, when this handsome guy with brown eyes, and curly hair approached him. Kurt quickly took up his offer for help to the dining hall, purely because the guy who had approached him had the nicest choice in clothes and had the nicest ass in those tight khaki's. Kurt followed him into the dining hall and couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by how nice it was that this random guy would take the time to show him around the dining hall, but the interaction was short, and left Kurt with food and a stranger on the brain.
When Kurt got back to his cramped dorm room, he sat on his bed and took the time to do his moisturizing routine in peace and while doing so couldn't help but think about how shocking it was to him that he not only made it to college but that he made it through the day without a breakdown. He then thought of the hot guy who had helped him in the dining hall and decided to make the choice. The new Kurt Hummel was at CBU, not the Kurt Hummel from Lima, Ohio, and therefore, no guys. He can't go back to the way he was, not when he had actually scored a ticket out of that shithole. And he knew, that by having a boyfriend, or even getting involved, it would put him back into the stupidity he left behind. The new Kurt Hummel was a CBU fashion design major, ready to get school done and ready to conquer the world.
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