Take on the World

5.

Hate.

It's a strong word, a word you wouldn't throw around. Now, in this exact moment, Andy never understood why she ever used that word to describe how she felt towards Robert.

They were being airlifted to Grey-Sloan, after spending the majority of the day stuck in the overturned aid-car. It was a day filled with fear, and sadness, but also a lot of eye opening moments.

Andy and Robert connected on a different level, he'd finally opened up to her, let those walls he'd built up around himself finally come down just a bit to let her in. He told her about his late wife, and how when he came back to Seattle all those years ago it was to tie up the loose ends he'd left in such a hurry when she died. He explained that after Claire, his wife, died that he thought he'd never move on or have kids, if he couldn't do that with her, why do it at all?

She let him in, too. She told him all the mildly-embarrassing stories about her pregnancy and when Luna was a baby. She told him about how terrified she was and how everything she thought she knew went out the window the second Luna was born. And for the first time, she heard him laugh, like an actual, genuine laugh. After learning about him, she now knew this was a man she wanted her, their daughter to know.

So, as she let more tears stream down her face, she reached over and grabbed him hand, giving it a light squeeze. She felt it, the way her skin burned as it met his, but she chose to ignore it, because right now, she just wanted comfort, and so did he.

Andy's hand never left his, not until the doctors had to practically pry her away from him. After she got checked out, she immediately asked to see him. It took a little convincing considering she wasn't immediate family, but eventually the nurses got tired of her asking and just gave in.

She walked into his room, he was sitting up in the hospital bed, fiddling with his hands. She sat in the chair that was next to the bed, then reached over and grabbed his hand, much like she did on the ride over.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, giving him a sad smile.

"I still can't feel my legs, they hope it's just temporary but they're not sure yet." He answered, his voice wasn't as stern as usual, he had a more relaxed tone in his voice. "But how are you?"

"I'm good," She lied, he knew she was lying too, but he wasn't going to call her out on it. They were actually getting along right now, he wasn't going to say or do anything to mess that up.

The two sat in silence, it wasn't a awkward silence, it was comfortable. Their hands were still intertwined, resting on the edge of the bed. At some point, Robert looked over and Andy was practically half asleep in what looked like the worlds most uncomfortable position.

"Hey," He said quietly, she raised her eyebrows signaling for him to continue. "Come here,"

Her eyes opened and she watched as he tried to move over in the bed as best he could, then pat the empty spot beside him.

She was a little trepidatious about it, sure they'd done a lot more than just sleep in the same bed, but now it was different. They'd gone through something traumatic together, this was a natural reaction. In a few days they'd go back to hating each other and this would all be a distant memory.

But there was this part of her that didn't want them to go back to the way they were. She wanted them to stay like this, peaceful, where everything felt natural and comforting. She also wanted it to stay this way between them for the sake of Luna. If Robert wanted to be in her life, they would need to be on good terms, right now, they were. She just wanted it to stay this exact way... good.

So she carefully climbed into the bed beside him, making sure not to disturb any of the wires or machines he was hooked up to for monitoring. His arm held her close to his side and her head laid gently against his chest.

After a few minutes, the sound of his heartbeat lulled her to sleep, aided by the comforting feeling of being in his arms.

She wasn't the only one with trepidation's right about now, Robert felt a little caught off guard. Just yesterday they were at each other's throats, her undermining his authority, him being hard on her for absolutely no reason. But now, he never really understood why he ever felt the need to act the way he did towards her.

There was something between them that neither of them knew exactly what it was, but it was enough to make them feel scared and vulnerable. When they were together all those years ago, it was just sex, nothing more. Now they were something without the sex.

They went from sex buddies, to strangers that had a daughter together, to captain and lieutenant who hated each other, to... Whatever they were now... Friends?

No, it was just a natural reaction to a traumatic event. They would go back to hating each other soon enough, even if they didn't want to, it was just going to happen.

•••

The next morning, Andy woke up early, early enough that she thought she'd be awake before Robert. But evidently he didn't get much sleep during the night. She immediately felt bad, thinking she was the reason for it, but he assured her she wasn't the cause.

"I have to pick Luna up from school soon, my dad's had her since last night and I should probably relieve him of child care duties." Andy explained, she hated that she was going to have to leave Robert, she was still a little on edge because of yesterday and being with him made that uneasy feeling go away.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Robert nodded, he was just as upset about her leaving as she was, and he didn't like it.

"I could come back after I pick her up, bring her with me?"

"Andy, I'd love nothing more than to meet her, but I think it's best if we do it on her terms." He said, watching a sad expression come over her face. "Plus, I'd much rather meet her when i'm not confined to a bed."

Andy sat on the edge of the bed, taking his hand in hers, something she found herself doing a lot since last night. She searched his eyes, trying to read what was going through his mind, but it was nearly impossible.

"How do I explain it to her?" She asked, her voice small and quiet. 

"You know her best, you know how that mind of her's works," He answered, earning a light chuckle from Andy. "And if you need me, i'm just a phone call away."

"Just a phone call away,"