Just A Thought

Chapter 7

Summer

We came to a sudden stop and I bent down trying to catch my breath, but then I realized where we were and everything went black.

I started gasping for air, it was as if my lungs were failing me. I felt a shudder down my spine because of the sudden cold that just froze my insides. I didn't even realize that I was shaking uncontrollably, like a maniac.

I could feel tears flowing out of my eyes.I tried to move but I was frozen. Its been so long since I had had one of these. Memories that had almost buried deep inside. Flashes of everything I've tried so hard to forget filled my head, I tried to listen to Olen's voice which was urging me to calm down but the I couldn't help it. The memories were flooding my head.

...

I remember that night. I wore black, so I blended with the dark much like tonight.

It was probably around midnight when I left the party I had went to. I was beyond drunk, I could not stand up straight. I still had the bottle of vodka in my hand, which I plainly refused to leave behind.

I remember vaguely looking for Brian, my designated driver, but he was probably upstairs with some random girl and I really did not feel like walking up the stairs.

So I decided to walk, not home. Wait did I tell you that home was the last place I wanted to be? All I wanted was to be away from this party, away from these people, away from everything so I walked, more like crawled out of there until I reached this dirt road a few blocks from where the party was at.

Drunk, medicated and alone on a deserted dirt road all l had was a bottle of vodka and my thoughts. I took another sip of the vodka as I tried desperately to ignore the the voice in my head that kept reminding me how I practically had no one now that both my parents are dead and Drew became just like them, always concerned about the business, the business that all the damn time.

I laughed as I took another sip from the bottle, not because I was amused but because life was so fucked that I didn't know what else to do. I still felt as helpless as I did as remained glued on the floor when I watched them burn alive. The pain was still as raw as it was when I watched them fry to death.

I kept walking until I reached a cliff. At this point I was starting to have double vision, but it didn't really bother me.

Standing on the edge of a cliff, looking at the stars all I could hear was the sound that kept me awake, the very sound that I tried by all means to run away from. The sound of the crash.

"This is pointless," I screamed as I threw the vodka away. I didn't want to be drunk, I didn't plan on it. All I wanted was the pain to stop, but it just won't. It's almost as if it gets worse with each sip I took.

All I do now, is think about the crash. I can't stop. And as much as I refuse to admit it to myself, I really do feel bad that they died when I didn't even have a solid relationship with them, let alone any childhood memories.

You know every other child has those precious memories that they hold onto. Those special family moments, like a trip to some beach or something, but we don't have that. From as soon as I was born they have always been too busy. I had hoped that sometime in they would, realize that for once they'd just ask, "how are you Summer? How's school?" But then than never happened and it surely never will. All this morbid thoughts filled my head and I hated feeling sorry for myself.

"I have nothing left." I said out loud.

I laughed humourlessly before before breaking into a sob.

I blocked my ears because all I could hear was the explosions and the crash. Every little detail about that day played over and over in my mind like it had for the last few days. I could see it clearly, I felt the hot tears flow down my face as I remembered their car being engulfed in flames.

"I can't take this no more," I said breathlessly.

Then I wiped my tears, looked around to see Brain's car coming down the dirt road.

He parked his car, came running out he was already shouting but I couldn't hear him because all the shit going on in my head seemed to block out everything going on.

I took one last look at him, he he had a horrified expression as he read my thoughts but I looked away.

I Looked down.

"I'll probably see you on the other side." I smiled, one last tear finding it's way down my cheek and let the gravity do all the work as I jumped off a cliff.

Thank you so much for reading...Ilyall so muchhhhhh😭❤️❤️❤️thank you

Love P😚❤️❤️