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EMOTIONS, WHAT ARE THEY? Some say it's the souls way of reminding you that your alive, a human being. Others say it's just the way your chemically made, evolutions way of picking out a right mate to have children with. For you, you saw it as a bowl full of knotted rope you left to burry but haven't had the time. It was a frost on your windows that won't go away even when the sun is out and the air became warm again. They are spiders in your room corners wanting to stay alive and live there but you didn't, the little thing with eight legs was frightening to you even if it was only an inch big.
That's how you felt as you sat at the lake you and Arvin fist bonded. Where snow grew wings in your hands and sent small cold hugs to the other. You could still feel the cold kisses on your face, the snow hugging your skin to not be swiped off by your hand. The memory brought a small smile to your face, made you hug your legs closer to your body. But not out of the crip wind, but because of the warm giddiness you felt in your chest that made you want to get up and dance for no reason.
You and Arvin haven't talked ever since the incident with Lenora and Gene. The total was two weeks and a day. One more day of school and it will be officially winter break, meaning you'll be leaving to visit family in New York soon. It was your mother's side of the family, the only big reason the two of of you still went. Your father believed it would help with you grieving over your mother by surrounding you with the people that made her who she was. At first you were only a shell of the little girl they raised, but the more time you spent with them, the more you started to return. You learned a lot about your mother from them, what her favorite color was, favorite snack food, lipstick brand, restaurant, and favorite jewelry. But, you also learned how she came up with the mind set she always had, a mind set that was soon carried down to you.
You'll be leaving without working this situation out with Arvin, and Lenora. This realization made that smile fall face first into the snowy ground and confusion to fill your heart.
It's also been two weeks and a day since you've talked to William, and you weren't going to talk to him ever again. You thought you knew the existent of the boys jealousy, but once again you were wrong about him. Just like you were wrong about your feelings for Arvin. Your relationship with William blinded you of your feelings, of the reason your cheeks grew crimson whenever the boy flirted with you even in the slightest of way. The way... your chest would melt like butter left in the sun for too long when you looked back on the short time you spent together. Arvin and you may have only spent a few times together, but it felt like the two of you have been together longer than that. As if you two have found the other from a past life.
You sniff, wiping your nose with the back of your hand to try and get rid of some of the snot running down your nostril as you stood on your feet. You took one long look at the view in front of you, snowflakes falling from the grey clouds and landing on tree branches, making the snow blankets thicker and thicker while the snow on the lake slowly hides the thick ice. It truly looked like Christmas time here, something you would see from those Christmas themed magazines you saw in the gas station. It was a beautiful little place you had found in Arvin's car and you were glad you found it, even if you will only have that snowball fight sticking to the place.
