A Youtubers Uni

Regrets

*Lucy's POV*

I crawl over to my phone, peering at the caller ID and scrunching my face up as I see its Jack conveniently written on the screen with about twelve emoji love hearts.God its just sad now really.

I ignore it and lay on my back on my bed, I close my eyes and listen to the annoying repetitive ring until it stops. I sigh in relief but am cut off by the ringing again. This carries on for about ten minutes until I finally give in. I pick I up and start to talk

"Listen Jack I don't care anymore. I would say its not you fault, except it is and all the times we did it I felt like-"

"Lucy, this is the police.You are the last known person to talk to jack so we need to see you in the hospital, we have some news." A surprisingly young female woman cuts me off.

"I'm so so sorry" she says before hanging up leaving me in a state. What happened to jack? Did he do something wrong? Why were the police calling me? Why is she so sorry? I run over all those questions as I drive up and park in the hospital carbefore.Blinking at the colossal building I realise I don't know where I'm going to meet the police or what time or anything. But I dont need to know as as I step through the reception doors I see four police officers sitting at the kiddy tables as all the other seats are taken. Its quite humorous actually and I laugh a little until I see their grim/serious faces staring towards me.

I give a little wave and they nod sincerely acknowledging my presence. The female stands up first and sehakes my hand.

"You must be Lucy" she says and I recognise her voice as the woman on the phone.

"Shall we go somewhere quieter?" She says

"Sure, as long as you don't mean a bedroom!" I joke and she just looks at me like 'wtf' so I look down at my shoes and follow her to and isolated ward filled with beds and standing curtains.

"You might want to sit down" she nods as she says this as if its nessisary so I plump myself on a nearby bed.

"Now," she says "this might be hard for you to process because from what I know you and jack had history"

"Have" I interrupt, correcting her quickly. She ignores me and carries on.

"Its seems that your friend jack was recently the victim of a horrific car crash, he was instantly killed. We are so sorry for your loss"

A ton of emotions rush through me at once I scream, louder and longer than I've ever screamed before. I shove my head in my hands weakly and sob-scream into them. I know he was a bad boyfriend and maybe even a bad friend, but I think of everything sweet he's ever said or ever done and it makes me cry harder. Im in a state on the edge of the hospital bed and I think of the last words he probably ever heard, you're not even worth the reply. Oh my god. Its my fault he's dead. Its all my fault.

I cry and cry and cry until I feel I've used all of my emotions up and there's nothing left. Until I feel like an empty shell of a body. I remember the time he brought me to the beach and we had a picnic in the sun. I remember he brought me there even though he was afraid of the ocean and I held his hand the entire time to help him feel more secure. We had our first kiss on that beach and he kissed me as my ankles were swept in sea water and pebbles.

I cry and cry as I think of how amazing he really was. Everybody has flaws you just have to learn how to get over them and love them for them.

But it's too late.
I loved him.
And I still do
I still love him
So so much

And it hurts my heart thinking about him and how I could have changed things. How easy it would have been to save him.

Its my fault.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New chapter!!!
Waaayyyyy hope you liked it!
Its kinda sad but cute as well
Byyeeee ilya