Troubled

Chapter 7

Winter in WV

~Greys pov~

After summer, school started again. I was always studying or busy with homework. I never really got to hang out with the boys. Well there are a few times I got to. We mostly just talked for about 30 minutes a day. We are finally on Winter break.

We are in West Virginia and we just arrived at the Cabin. We are on the highest mountain and can see many mountains under us. Its gorgeous. I'm surprised they didn't forget me at the airport.

I put my things down in my and Julie's shared room.

(Reggie and Luke share a room, Alex and Carlos share a room. Ray has his own room.)

After I put my things down i go to the patio that over looks the rest of the mountains. I could live here forever. "We're not going to get you to come in at all. Are we?" Luke asks. "Nope. Probably not.". "Its nice put here. Very peaceful. " he says. "I know. Its much different than L.A." I say agreeing.

"So. You brought a guitar. Do you know how to play it?". "Um. Yah I do. But please don't tell anyone.". He looks at me confused. "Why not you have a gift share it.". "Because its something I used to do with Rose. It was our little secret before she died. Julie doesn't even know I play.". He nods "I won't tell anyone. " I nod. "Im gonna go find Julie." he says. "Yah go find your girlfriend." I yell as he blushes.

I sit on the patio for about 30 more minutes. I went inside to grab my guitar. I don't see anyone. They probably left without me ....again. I go back in the patio and began to sing a song.  wrote this song a few months after Rose died.

I wonder if I'm being real
Do I speak my truth or do I filter how I feel?

I wonder, wouldn't it be nice
To live inside a world that isn't black and white?

I wonder what it's like to be my friends
Hope that they don't think I'll forget about them

I have lost so many friends. I've always wondered if it was because of me.

I wonder
I wonder

I close my eyes getting into the music.

Right before I close my eyes
The only thing that's on my mind

Been dreamin' that you feel it too

I wonder what it's like to be loved by you
Yeah
I wonder what it's like
I wonder what it's like to be loved by

This part was always so hard to sing. I wrote that part about Ray and Julie.

I wonder why I'm so afraid
Of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint
I wonder, when I cry into my hands
I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a woman

And I wonder if someday you'll be by my side
And tell me that the world will end up alright

I start tearing up. All I want is someone to tell me its going to be okay. I just want someone to ask me if im okay. Its never like that though. Its always the other way around. When I do say something or cry they say I'm being dramatic.

I wonder
I wonder

Right before I close my eyes
The only thing that's on my mind

Been dreamin' that you feel it too
I wonder what it's like to be loved by you
Yeah

I wonder what it's like
I wonder what it's like to be loved by you

I wonder what it's like to be loved by you
Yeah
I wonder what it's like to be loved by you
I wonder what it's like to be loved by

I had no idea what to write. So I repeated what I felt.

Right before I close my eyes
The only thing that's on my mind

Been dreamin' that you feel it too
I wonder what it's like to be loved by you

I didn't realize I was full on crying until Reggie wiped away a few tears. I didn't even know Reggie was here. "I thought everyone left. "I wisper. "They went to town. It's an hour drive and I didn't want you to be alone, so I stayed.". I just nod.

He helps me take my my guitar off. Once I set it down he helps me down from the railing I was sitting on. Once I'm down he pulls me into a hug. I start sobbing even more. This is new to me.
Hes not telling me to stop be dramatic or to quit being a baby. Hes not saying that Julie had it harder. Its like none of that matters.

He strokes my hair. "Its okay. Everything's gonna be okay.". That just makes me cry more. I pull away still sobbing. "Im sorry. I'm just being dramatic.". "No you're not. You need to let it out. Its not good to keep it bottled up.". He pulls me back in a hug. I just hug back. "Thank you." I say. He just nods. He rubs comforting circles on my back and wispers comforting words in my ear.

After about 20 or 30 minutes I stop crying and pull away from the hug. I can't believed he hugged me for 30 minutes. "Im sorry for wasting your time Reg.". "No. Stop apologizing. I rather be here then at the grocery store while you break down by yourself.". "It would've been fine. I can handle it by myself. I always do.". "Well maybe you used to, but now you have us, you have me. Look I don't know if Ray ever notices you, but we're not like that.". I nod.

"I notice how Ray ignored you at dinner, and he didn't tell you about the family meeting. Also how nobody told you that he adopted us. Oh yah, and you didn't even know about this trip. Its not hard to see you're there for them, but no one is here for you.".

I felt relieved. Finally someone understands. "But, we're not like that. I mean yah sometimes Luke gets distracted by Julie, but me and Alex will always be here for you.". I laugh at that last part. "Thanks Reggie.". I hug him. He was surprised but hugged back.

°•°☆°•°☆°•°☆°•°☆°•°☆°•°☆°•°☆°•°☆°•°
A/n:
Pls vote. Have a great day or night wherever you're at.
Xoxo me 😌