The Perfect Nightmare

The Beginning

Here I am again... Sitting on this couch.
Hopping to figure out my life, and to be advised how to feel, again.

Why?

How did I get here? Where did I go wrong? What is wrong with me?

My name is Ellarie Mayflower. It is my senior year, cliché start of a story I know.

I am not 'popular' nor a 'loser' nor a 'nerd.' I am an outcast, the shy lonely girl who keeps to herself with her books in a corner.

I have always been this way.

Why, you ask? Well, I guess you will have to read to find out.

It is my last first day of high school. You will become bored of my routine after awhile; CP English IV, Accounting I, Stats, CP History, Business, and German IV.

I seem like a nerd, trust me I know, but I do not dedicate my whole life to my studies. I do what I am told, not a overachiever, but not a procrastinator either. In my free time I do not study, I read fantasy-romance novels and paint. No, I don't have friends either, I don't even talk to my father unless we really need food in the house.

Anyway, enough about me for now.

*riinngg riinnnggg* *BAM!* My alarm clock read 6:30 a.m. I want this year over with already.

I quickly shower, brush my teeth, and get dressed before I throw my long dark hair in a bun like usual. Father is already at work so I grab a granola bar and go to school.

7:45 a.m. I wait until the last minute to go into school to avoid the noise and the crowds, any social contact really. Even though I could walk through those halls without people acknowledging me anyway.

I can't stand the gossip. I know, I live a boring life, but I have reasons like we all do. I'm normal I swear, I am just more mature than my peers. Sorry, getting off topic again.

I always hear people complain about the college preparatory classes even though, in my opinion, are easy as making Ramon noodles. All you have to do is the assignments and memorize the study materials given, then forget about all of it at the end of the semester. Simple is you ask me.

We have a ten page informative research paper due at the end of the semester where we are walked through how to accomplish ten pages. Easy? I think so.

Finally onto my next class, Accounting I, the class I should have had on my schedule years ago. Not my fault for not knowing what I wanted to do as a career until recently.

I have an uninvolved father and zero friends, what do you expect? Let's get on with it already my life is boring, and going through my classes are uninteresting to you anyway. You want drama, something to keep reading. Romance, mystery, tragedy.

Well to bad I like complaining about my life as much as you do.

Lunch if you haven't guessed already I sit outside, reading my favorite series once again, Thirst by Christopher Pike. Grammar is a little rough at points, but I love the story and the content is what makes it so real and thrilling to me.

What I didn't notice was one of the country boys staring at me.

I thought about saying, "What you want fool?" But I didn't and just acted liked I never noticed him.

He was probably wondering how a weirdo like me was accepted in a prestigious school like this one. I wondered that myself on a daily as well.

Oh well, he would never talk to me anyway, no one does.

After my seventh period I headed to the library to buy new reads. I have an addiction I know, I just can't help it and I assume you understand this addiction if you are reading this anyway.

Being the 'nerd' that I am, I bought some classics, Of Mice and Men, and the Great Gypsy. These are untypical of me, but I need to start reading them if I am going to understand the English teachers in college.

*Buzz Buzzz*
Dad: Have to stay late again, you are on your own for dinner.

Typical. At least I can get my usual two McChickens, large fry, and powerade from none other than McDonald's.

I'm not fat just have a high metabolism, also run in my free time. Anyway, tonight I plan on working on my new piece of art. I do landscape works, and I love dreaming about the perfect place and making it come to life on a canvas. And yes, I do watch Bob Ross, come at me he helps me sleep.

***

My life had the same routine for the next couple of weeks. School, library, home. I do work occasionally at a little coffee shop, but I have been busy with school and asked off these past weeks.

That country boys name is Daniel, Daniel Cane. He is a pitcher for the schools baseball team, academically smartest guy I know in the school, and likes to stare at me everyday during lunch.

No, I did not talk to him what so ever during these weeks, nor do I want to at this point of my life.

My life is already a mess, I wouldn't want to put someone in a position to fix all of my broken pieces. I don't even want to fix myself, nor do I know how. It's not that I don't trust anyone, it's just that I mentally can't. Not after what happened with my mom and how my "friends" treated me afterword.

I am going to see her today. It is my mother's birthday, and I miss her.

I wish she would come back and tell me everything will be okay and repair what is left of mine and my fathers relationship. But you can't bring someone back. All you can hope is that they are looking over you, still loving you..

With loosing someone so close to you, it always brings you regret. You regret the times you made them upset, angry, and sad. You regret not being there for them when they needed you the most.

You regret not being able to save them.

I love you mom, I'm sorry...

Authors note: Hey there new reader! I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. Please help me make my story better with comments either over the whole chapter or individual parts.

Keep reading and bare with me! ❤️