The Light in the Dark (Completed)

Chapter 18: Mirrored

  Jimin sat on the side of the hospital bed with Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok in front of him. Hoseok ran to him, tears streaming down his face, throwing his arms around Jimin hugging him tightly. They cried together, Yoongi and Namjoon joining the hug both had tears streaming down their faces. The three of them had almost lost a friend tonight, they needed the comfort and reassurance that he is still here with them.

  Jimin had regained conciseness in the ambulance, he was able to explain what had happened to him. Arriving in the ER, the doctor informed him just how lucky he was, if he had been home alone he would be dead his friend had saved his life. 

  The doctor explained that the panic attack had caused his body to go into shock, stopping his heart. The doctor urged him to seek counseling, considering his anxiety had reached a dangerous level. Jimin has been told by everyone to get counseling for years but he refused, he didn't want to dredge up the horrors of his past to a complete stranger. 

  They ran a battery of tests to make sure there is no underlying condition that could have caused his heart to stop. Jimin is found to be perfectly healthy though still underweight. Jimin assured him he was working on gaining weight.

  Four hours later he is finally released, he is so relieved to be able to go home. The four head out of the ER, winding through the maze of white walls in search of the exit. Finally the step through the massive sliding glass doors into the parking garage, they split up to go to their mutual vehicle" I'll drop you off then go check on Jungkook" Yoongi said climbing into their van Namjoon nodded "I sent him a tet reassuring him he was ok but I know he's freaking out. I'm going to stay the night with Jimin just to make sure he's ok then I'll head back to the motel in the morning" Yoongi sighed "are you sure your ok with this, if we push them together and it works out...." Namjoon stared out the window not able to look Yoongi in the eye "Jimin will always be my biggest regret but we have to make sacrifices to achieve our dreams. I'm not going to lie it's going to hurt like hell seeing him with someone else. Jungkook understands pain and can relate with Jimin way more than I ever could, he needs that. Jungkook had a shitty childhood, he doesn't know we know about the abuse he suffered. I never brought it up because I know he would open up about it when he was ready."

  Yoongi started the van and backed out making his way out of the parking garage and onto the street "Jungkook was always such a bright and outgoing person but his father beat it out of him. Shortly before he disappeared he changed, he seemed to withdraw from everyone, he didn't smile as much as he had. I think he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take four more years of pain and planned on killing himself to escape. His attack was awful but in a twist of fate it saved him."

Jungkook paced his apartment Namjoon had sent him a text saying Jimin is ok but he needed to see him with his own eyes. He jumped when a voice came from behind him "he had a panic attack the shock stopped his heart, luckily Hoseok is trained in CPR and was able to get his heart started" Jungkook felt his knees go weak his Tiny Dancer had died. He had listened to his last gasping breaths before he died. With shaky legs he made it to the couch, sitting down he ran his fingers through his hair "what triggered it?" Yoongi walked over taking a seat next to him "that's what I need to talk to you about. Jimin has a very fucked up past and he's triggered by the mention of his parents" Jungkook gaped "so this is my fault, I asked him about his parents and it triggered his panic attack he almost died because of me."

  Yoongi shook his head "this is not your fault, you didn't know. I don't want you to beat yourself over this Jimin is fine now and you now know not to mention it." Jungkook stared at the floor "are there any other triggers?" "bathtubs and water, he can look at the Ocean but he can't get to close or he'll have an attack."

"I knew this was a mistake, I knew I should have stayed away but I was so drawn to him. I need to stay as far away from him as I can before I destroy him. I should have known this would happen any semblance to happiness is destroyed, why am I even surprised anymore." 

  Yoongi dropped his arm "if you push him away you would regret it and it would hurt Jimin, he wouldn't understand why you suddenly stopped talking to him and would think he had done something wrong" Jungkook shook his head " he's an Angel I'm the fuck up."

  Yoongi sighed "don't do anything hasty. Why don't you call him tomorrow and invite him to go shopping, he loves to help people shop. Maybe he can convince you to put a little color in your life" Jungkook smirked his eyes racking over his black-clothed form pointedly "shut up! I have a light blue shirt because he said it is his happy color" Jungkook laughed "does he know how whipped you are for him?" Yoongi rolled his eyes "oh please! like you aren't."

  "His ribs are pretty bruised from the CPR so he may be sore but walking around will help him not get stiff so text him in the morning" "I actually need to go shopping for some new clothes but I've been putting it off because I hate malls but if Jimins with me-" Yoongi grinned as he stood up "you're going to be too busy giving him heart eyes to worry about the assholes around you" Jungkook laughed "I wouldn't put it in those words but yea pretty much."

  Yoongi left a few minutes later. Jungkook turned off his lights and went to his room, flopping on to his bed he pulled out his phone and called Jimin through Whats App:

JM: wow! you never call, is everything ok?

JK: I should be asking you that. You called me earlier but didn't say anything, I heard these strange noises I realized it was someone wheezing

JM: I had a bad panic attack, I stopped breathing and had to go to the hospital. Hoseok gave me CPR which can break your ribs but I'm lucky I just ended up bruised, I'm not going to lie it hurts like hell to breathe

JK: holy shit! Are you sure you ok? You fucking died, how are you so calm?

JM: honestly, I'm scared. I wish I had someone here to hold me and kiss my temple while he runs his fingers through my hair. I want to be comforted and reassured everything is ok and this will never happen again

  Jungkook clenched his phone tightly as he listened to Jimin speak. He wanted desperately to be the one to hold him in his arms, to kiss his temple as he ran his fingers through his silky hair while whispering reassuring words in his ear.

  His voice is husky as he spoke.

JK: I wish I was there to do all those things

  Jimin's breath hitched in his throat as his heart began to race 

JM: that's not a very straight thing to say (he whispered)

JK: I honestly don't care anymore 

  they went silent both listening to the other breathe through the receiver. Jimin finally spoke.

JM: I need to get some rest I'll talk to you later

  Jimin ended the call. He flopped back on his bed with a sigh he had to be toying with him, but the way his voice had deepened when he spoke meant he is feeling strong emotions. It didn't matter though because he has never mentioned wanting to meet, he hid his face for a reason. For all he knew he could be a criminal or a complete psycho. 

  He needed to play it safe and look for love closer to home. His bruises are nearly gone a little light makeup would cover them completely. Maybe he would invite Jungkook to go, though he may be uncomfortable in a gay club it still never hurts to ask. He knew twinks would flock to the bigger man, it would give him an ego boost if anything. Maybe he would realize not everyone is afraid of someone a little different.

  His mind wandered to Jungkook, he truly is an attractive man. He couldn't see much of his body but he had shoved the sleeves of his hoodie up while he ate showing off muscular forearms, but it wasn't really his appearance that drew him but the look in his eyes. Jimin had the same look, they had lived through hell and came out battered and bruised but alive to tell their tale. While Jungkook bore scares Jimin had none but that meant nothing he hid his scares behind a smile, scares no one can see. Just for a moment as the two of them sat in the diner talking he had felt a connection, his soul had recognized the pain within him. 

  Jimin drifted off to sleep with a gentle smile on his face, visions of large haunted eyes gazing back at him as a large veiny hand reached out to save him from the suffocating abyss.