The Light in the Dark (Completed)

Chapter 6: Chat

  Jungkook sits on his couch trying to breathe, he's having a panic attack. He decided to get coffee after another sleepless night. He had stopped to stare at the sun as it crested the horizon, it truly was beautiful. Someone slams into him, he hears a small squeak. He pivots and grabs said person to keep them from falling. Their hood falls back, exposing their bruised face, and suddenly he can't remember how to breathe. He's staring at Tiny Dancer's face, even bruised and swollen, he's still beautiful. 

  He's so small he verily comes to his pecs, his arm that his hand is wrapped around feels so small. He quickly let go and steps back. Tiny Dancer tries to talk to him but all he can do is stare absorbing every detail. His hair is dark chocolate as are his eyes, his eyes are so warm and kind, small upturned nose and thick kissable lips. 

  He pulls himself from his thoughts and follows him deciding to ask if he is ok, when he catches his reflection in the glass of the door he realizes he terrified so he freezes. He stands in the doorway looking inside as Tiny Dancer rushes inside, he stands at the counter placing his order. Quickly he turns and heads home.

  Tears stream down his face, he's wanted to meet him so bad but like everything else he fucked this up too. The look of fear in his eyes is burned into his brain, why couldn't he have said something, anything. Of course, he's going to be scared, he is so much bigger than him and he stared like a fucking idiot not saying a word like a complete creep. After everything he has gone through, of course, he's going to freak out. He sighs and runs his hands through his hair in frustration.

  He stared at his hand, he is so unbelievably thin his hand had wrapped around his forearm, that is so unhealthy. Was he really struggling that much financially? Could he not afford food? Did he have an eating disorder? The more he thought the more stressed out he became. He couldn't send him money that would be a blow to his pride, so how could he make sure he is eating. It's not like he could send meals to his company they would be cold and unappetizing by the time he received them.

  He paced his house fingers pressed to his temples as he thought hard, then it hit him a bakery. His phone beeped notifying him of a notification. He checked and saw that Tiny Dancer was Live once again. Heading to the living room he plopped down on the couch and pulled up the live on his TV. He looked so happy, the sparkle is back in his eyes. Hey, guys so I know a few of you have commented on my weight and I assure you I do not have an eating disorder. I love food and hated having to restrict myself, I hated always feeling hungry. So I thought we would chat while I eat " he plopped a big paper bag down and pulled out a big burger and fries, he grabbed a big cup off-camera and sat it next to him "I'm chasing this down with a chocolate peanut butter shake because chocolate and peanut butter are my kryptonite" he said with a giggle "go get yourself something to eat and join me. I'm home alone so it would be nice to have company. I'm going to do a Q&A today so ask me questions. I'll tell you about my day as you grab something. Jingkook headed to the kitchen, seeing the food had reminded him he hadn't eaten breakfast. He made a grilled ham and cheese sandwich with a can of chili. Carrying everything into the living room he sat on the floor in front of his coffee table and took a bite. 

  "I went to bed super early, last night because I was exhausted. I had the best sleep I've had in years. I think getting all that off my chest was so cleansing and I was finally able to relax, usually, I'm up till three or four in the morning. Sleep has been a struggle for me this last year, but I woke up feeling refreshed. Yes! I'm still sore, but it will heal. I walked down to a coffee shop a few blocks from my place. I was admiring the sunrise, it's been so long since I saw one when I walked into someone. He was big and strong and thankfully caught me before I fell. I felt horrible and apologized, he just stared at me not say anything. I switched to Spanish but he still continued to stare. I'll admit I was scared, he is so much bigger than me. Now that I think back, he had beautiful eyes"  Jungkook froze with his spoon halfway to his mouth, he thought his eyes are pretty? There plain dull brown there is nothing impressive about them "And he smelled really good. I think I just made a big deal out of nothing. I'll be honest my manager is a lot bigger than me and I think I developed a fear of bigger men, and let's be honest I'm tiny so everyone is bigger than me."

  He groaned "ok I hope you had time to grab something to eat because the smell of this is killing me slowly, so I'm going to dig in. Don't judge too harshly if I make a massive mess" he stared at the screen reading the chat as he unwrapped his burger "I see some very thirsty comments wanting me to take off my shirt. I'm not going to sit here shirtless because my body looks worse than my face. Ladies I hate to break your hearts but I'm gay" he took a bite of his burger and began answering questions.

  Jungkook couldn't stop smiling, why the fuck was he so happy to hear he is gay? The live went on for two hours as he was doing his closing remarks he looked directly at the camera "I don't want to put you on blast so I won't mention your name but thank you so much for the flowers they're beautiful. I sent you a message I hope to speak to you soon" he ended his live.

  Jungkook's hands shook as he grabbed his phone and scrolled through the millions of messages he gets from fans every day, it took him thirty minutes to find the message It probably took you forever to find this message, I have the same problem. Here's my Whatsapp number I would love to get to know you. Thank you for the flower they are gorgeous, my bestie says they're depressing because their funeral flowers but I find them beautiful. I hope to hear from you soon.

 A massive smile spread across Jungkook's face, he wanted to get to know him he felt the same way. He downloaded the app and set up an account. 

  He typed several messages but deleted them every time. Four hours later he's ready to pull his hair out, so he decides to go work out at the gym in his apartment complex. People rarely use it so he doesn't worry about people bothering him.

  He works out for two hours then heads back to his apartment, feeling much calmer. Working out helped his anxiety so much, it took his mind off his problem even if it was for a short time. He focused on the burn in his muscles as he ran or lifted weights, he had a nice body and is proud of it. He wished he had the confidence to show it off more. His fans seemed to like his shirtless cover, he wondered what Tiny Dancer thought when he saw the video.

  He walked into his apartment and grabbed his phone, it showed a message from Whatsapp it's from Jimin I'm not scary I promise. Earlier when he was freaking out he had typed fuck I'm scared before throwing his phone on the couch, the message must have sent when he threw it.

  He wanted to find the biggest deepest hole on Earth and dive in. What's done is done, he had leapt over the first hurdle even if it was on accident. He went and took a quick shower, pulling on a pair of black boxers he collapsed onto his bed. He was going to do it right this time

JK:  I'm lowkey embarrassed I didn't mean to send that message earlier. I'm socially awkward around people and was freaking out, I didn't know what to say  

JM: and here I thought I scared you away since I didn't get a reply

JK: Yeah, sorry about that. I went to work out I didn't know the message had even sent

JM: It's fine I was teasing you. So how was your day?

Jungkook relaxed back onto his pillow with a smile on his face, this is nice. It almost felt like he was right next to him. They talked for hours, it was only when Jungkooks stomach rumbled loudly that he realized how much time has passed.

  JK: we need to eat we both missed dinner

  JM: wow! we've been talking for three hours. I could definitely eat something my stomach is growling

  JK: make sure to eat something and take a pain pill before going to bed you won't be so sore in the morning

  JM: I will thank you. You make sure to eat something and get some rest

  Jungkook whistled a cheery tune as he made a turkey sandwich. He hasn't felt this happy in he can't even remember. An hour later he crawls into bed a smile still on his face. He drifted into dreamland, dreams of a Tiny Dancer dancing through his head.