I Was Made For You

32.

"she's going to be okay"

Emma's POV

I haven't left my room for the past three days. Everyone has come in and said hello to my though. I'm still jumpy and sensitive to certain things. Justin hans't left my side, mainly because I'm too scared if he does.

The images from that day still pop into my head hourly. It got to the point where I almost had a panic attack. In the middle of the night I wake up frequently because I have trouble breathing and scream because every single time I close my damn eyes I see his damn face. Day in and day out I sit in this room just staring straight forward, occasionally having a few panic attacks because I make myself so paranoid that what happened in the apartment could easily happen in my room right now. Lindsay could be just like Matt and have set up a camera in here, or she could be watching the house from somewhere, for all I know she could even be in the house. That's how paranoid and terrified I am. I had Justin clean out the closet and close the blinds on my windows. He's been amazing since we've been home, but I know it's painful for him.

"Babe do you want to come downstairs?" Justin asked as he sat next to me on the bed. I shook my head and kept my gaze at the wall. He wrapped his arms around my waist and laid his head on my back. I'm not as timid around Justin anymore, but I still flinch from time to time.

"Your going to be okay" he whispered. I simply nodded. I barely have a voice, and when I do talk, I sound horrible and scratchy.

"I just want it to go away" I croaked.

"Make it go away" I began to cry. I cry at least ten times a day, not including my waking up in the middle of the night and sobbing.

"I'm trying baby. I'll keep trying. It will go away soon. I promise" he said with a shaky voice. Not only have I been crying, Justin has as well. When I have my freak outs, it makes him cry because he can't make them stop. And that pains me.

"The court date is five days away. We leave the day after tomorrow." he explained. I nodded. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Amber's, Andrew's and Justin's family will all be here for the dinner and to cook everything. I'm still debating whether or not to be a part of it. I just don't know if I could handle it quite yet.

"I'm sorry" I whispered and shook my head.

"Stop saying that. You have nothing to be sorry for. You can come down and see everyone when your ready, no one is forcing you or pushing you to. Whenever you feel comfortable okay?" he said, rubbing my back. I nodded and cuddled into his chest. He looked down at me, most likely studying the still visible bruises and cuts on my face.

"They've gotten lighter" he said quietly. His eye is still bruised and his lip is healing.

"Your going to be okay Emma Jean Brooks. I'm never going to let you go through something like that ever again." he said, kissing the top of my head. I nodded,

"I love you so much" he said with his lips pressed to my head still. We haven't kissed or said I love you's since the incident. Justin's always very cautious with me and what he says. He doesn't want to freak me out or say anything that would remind me more of what happened.

"I love you too" I said just above a whisper.

The rest of the night Justin just sat there with me. Hardly any conversation was made but it wasn't awkward. He tried to get me to eat something, but I just don't have an appetite. He doesn't push me about it though. He's the only one I feel safe around, the only one I want around me twenty four seven, and he does just that.

Justin's POV

Three days since the attack and Emma hans't gotten any better. She wakes up in the middle of the night breathing heavily and sobbing loudly. Two nights ago I found her sitting up in bed with her face in her hands as she sobbed and was pulling at her hair as she kept repeating 'no' and 'make it stop'. That breaks my heart. Knowing her past, I had everything that resembles or is close to a razor taken out of her room. I'm okay with her crying, but I won't let her self inflict herself ever again.