I Was Made For You

9.

"maybe he's what you need to feel better again"

Emma's POV

I will never, ever forget that pain I had when he chose basketball over me. He lied to me in saying he would never leave me, when he said we would go to the same school no matter what, that nothing would come between us. How did I let myself sink this low again? I promised myself that I would never get like this again. Promises are being broken a lot now aren't they. I'm weak. I'm a mess. I'm un-fixable. I didn't even know I was crying until I felt the tears trickle faster down my cheeks. Crying is something I do every single god damn night. For the past five months, every single night. I try to be strong but I fail horribly at it. I hated that Justin had to see me like this, but then again I guess he is the major factor that made me fall faster into my downward spiral.

I couldn't stop the tears now. I guess I was scared, after today, I realized I missed days like this with Justin. But I don't want days like today with him, because for all I know he could leave me as quick as he did before.

I got up out of bed, silently crying. I noticed that Justin still had his light on in his room, it's only eleven, not that late. Without even knocking I opened the door and saw that he was reading a book, of course he wouldn't be wearing a shirt, he never does when he sleeps. He looked at me confused and put his book down,

"Why did you lie to me" I asked, tears still falling.

"Lie about what" he asked.

"You told me nothing would ever come between us, you told me you would never leave me. You lied" I said again, just above a whisper. He didn't say anything, he just looked down.

"You can't do stuff like today. You can't come back into my life and-and expect it all to just go back to the way we use to be. I'm scared Justin. I'm terrified." I said leaning against the door frame.

"Of what?" he whispered looking up at me. I was silent for a few moments,

"You" I whispered without looking at him. With that I turned around and quietly closed his door. I walked into my room and slowly crawled back into my bed. I was laying on my side, looking out the window at absolutely nothing.

I stared out that same window for the next three hours, it was now 2 in the morning and I haven't shut my eyes once.

I threw the covers off of me, grabbed my squishy pillow and walked out of my room. I feel like I'm bi-polar since I'm actually going to do this after I had that conversation with him a couple hours ago. I opened Justin's door and saw that he was sleeping. I slowly walked up to his bed and pulled back the covers and got in next to him. I laid on my side facing away from him and I felt an arm wrap around my waist, and Justin pulled me closer to him.

"I'm sorry" he whispered and kissed the top of my head. I held my squishy pillow close to my chest with one hand, the other hand crept down to Justin's hand that was wrapped around my waist and I intertwined our fingers. My back was tightly pressed against his chest. I felt him pull the covers up so that they were right blow both of our chins, since it was colder than usual. I didn't say anything to Justin, I just laid there. Weird right? I said I was afraid to let him back in yet here I am climbing into his bed at two in the morning.

--

I woke up and squinted my eyes due to the light adjustment. I looked down at my hands and saw that my hand was still holding Justin's and his arms were still tightly wrapped around my waist. I smiled a little and hugged my pillow tighter. Maybe Justin needs to be back in my life, even with everything that happened. He knows me better than I know myself these days. Well he's always known me better than anyone I guess.