I had a very good bio, and it ran off, so I got another bio, which I accidentally deleted. At this moment, I feel like not writing a bio, the emptiness from within is slowly eating me from the inside. A bit like bugs, yeah. In the meantime, here are some questions for a placeholder bio:

"Are you a Trump supporter or do you say it as a joke?"
Yes.
"Favourite number between 1 and 100?"
Here's a clue, it's between 1 and 100.
"Did you actually shoot a kangaroo?"
Yes, why would I claim to shoot a kangaroo if I didn't?
"Do you actually live in Australia"
Yes, in fact, I've wanted to leave this island for many years, but, because it is an island, and the government doesn't have a particularly positive opinion on boats, it makes it quite difficult.
"Are you ever going to update your books?"
Depends on your concept of ever.
"Favourite colour?"
Ultraviolet, it's beautiful.
"Why do you spell favourite and colour like that?"
Because, my ejucashun did'nt tel mi ho tu rait propali, so i say favourite, not favorite. 
"Are you really a Christian?"
Yes, you seem awfully surprised by that."
"Where do you live."
9.75 Downing Street, London. While you're there, my alarm code is 00000, my phone number is 888-888-8888, and my PIN code is 666. Also, my house is open any time you want to commit burglary.
"Were you Spadey?"
No, why would I stalk myself, that's stupid.
"Would you really kill me if I didn't vote on your stories?"
No, if you answered the question from my previous bio correctly, you would know that I only kill you if you keep breathing, not if you don't vote on my stories. 

Alright, I think that clears it up, merry Christmas, or whatever time of year it is for you currently.