Meadow Of Roses (Dazai x reader)

Warmth

Y/n
——
(Memory)

It's the middle of day. You're loaded with paper work.
You sigh in complaint...
Dazai is extremely busy too.. you haven't seen him in while. You continue working.

You hear your door creak open, you look up. It's akutagawa.
He just stares at you. You eyes widen. Surprised he even took your offer or maybe he's here on an errand for Dazai.

"Hello Akutagawa." You say smiling.
No emotion..... Not surprised.
"Um.. here would you like to sit..?" You ask trying to pull out a chair.
"Why" Akutagawa says.
That was his first word to you.

"What..?" You ask totally confused.
"Why are you so nice to someone like me?" Akutagawa asks just standing in the middle of your office,
"Dazai said someone like me doesn't deserve kindness." Akutagawa says.

Dazai... you sigh aloud...
"So why?" Akutagawa asks again.
"Because you remind me of myself." You say.
He shows confusion on his face.

"Yourself?" He asks, you walk forward.
"When I was younger, I used to be treated like you and I didn't know how to reacted to warmth but at the same time I wanted it. I wanted someone to respect me." You explain.

"You want someone's respect right?" You say.
He looks down unsure what to say...
"I don't understand what it means to have someone respect me" Akutagawa says.
You look at him. You can understand that pain but at the same time can't since you did once have a normal life before your mother's passing.

"You want praise. You want acknowledgment." You say. He still looks at the ground confused. Maybe an example...
"You want Dazai's praise. Dazai's acknowledgement." You say.

Akutagawa eyes widen and he looks at you.
"What?" He says even more confused.
"Why would I want that man's approval?" He asks his tone now angry.
"Because that's all you have left now. You have nothing left." You say...

Wait... what am I doing..? I'm just as wrong as Dazai.... I'm not helping this child...
Akutagawa just looks at you and than looks down.... he coughs.
"I see.." Akutagawa says quietly..
I don't think he knows how to respond at this point.

"Work hard. Listen to him and maybe he just might." You say. You don't understand what you're saying, you just as bad as Dazai at this point.
But maybe if Akutagawa starts working hard, Dazai might be better to him.

Akutagawa goes to walk out but before he goes you notice a big stack of papers of next to him.
"Akutagawa!" You shout before he leaves.
"..yes..?" Akutagawa says his tone being much softer but sad.

"Are you going anywhere after this?" You ask,
"To my bedroom." Akutagawa says.
You start feeling awful for everything you said... You don't want to become this child's sadness, you wanted to help him. Maybe if I just start to gain his trust just a little...
"Well if you got nothing to do. Could you help me with these papers? You just need to sign my name on them." You ask, he looks at you confused once more.

"Is that an order..?" Akutagawa asks,
"Yes." You lie.
"Ok." He says walking back into your office.
You pull up a chair for him and both of you work at your desk in silence.

Once he finished he asked to leave you let him go.
You thought you would never see him again after what you told him that day.. But a few days he came again and after that again..