"You want attention?", I try to fill in.
"Not just attention, it's more than that"
"You sound like you just want at-"
"You", she cuts me off. "I don't only want attention, I want you"
Fuck me, it definitely feels better when she says it sober.
...
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"Can I come?", I ask as I try to keep up with Jackson's long strides to his car.
Why is he walking so fast anyway? Is he that excited to see her?
"No, cause she wants me to pick her up in an hour and I don't have time to wait for you to get ready"
"Do you want to go somewhere with me later then?"
"He can't, he's going somewhere with me", Kevin answers as if I was asking him a fucking question.
"But don't you have to do something with dad tonight?", I silently beg my brother to cancel his plans.
"Nothing I can remem- oh yes, you are right. We have to do that thing tonight", the idiot catches on a little too late.
Crap, now I owe him.
"So you're free tonight", I turn back to Jackson as we reach his car.
"What do you want to do tonight?", he asks with hesitancy in his voice.
Does he not want to spend time with me?
"Where do you want to go?", I ask while we all get in the car.
"Nowhere", and with that, the conversation ends.
Nowhere? Nowhere with me or nowhere at all?
So he's willing to pick up Jade and spend time with my brother but for me it's nothing?
We're we not friends first?
Does he not like me anymore?
"Do you not want to hang out with me?", I ask after Kevin exists the car when we pulled into my driveway.
"We don't have to see each other everyday", he responds in a 'couldn't be bothered' tone.
I honestly wish I knew when to stop, and I wish I could pick up when people were at their limits. It would prevent more than half of the arguments I become a part of. But I can't, plus I love poking the bear too much.
Now, I know that I should have left the vehicle right then and there but I refuse to concede right after I realize my feeling for him. "Why not?", I feign ignorance.
"Get out Veronica", he reaches over my lap to open my door.
He's kicking me out?
"What did I do last night?", I finally ask.
I remember little snippets of the night but it seems as if a huge portion of memories is missing for this new attitude towards me.
"Get out"
So like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs I exit his car. And to makes things worst he drives off without waiting for me to get inside the house.
What could I have possibly said or done to make him want nothing to do with me?
"You have a crush on Jackson?", Kevin ask me at the door.
Just the mere mention of his name has me fighting back tears.
"Do you know what I said to him last night?", I turn to my last resort.
"I don't know what you said but you were throwing yourself at him the whole night"
Is he not talking to me because he thinks i'm disrespecting his feelings again?
He'll never take my feelings seriously now. They would be too sudden for him to accept, he will think I'm playing around.
He'll continue to distance himself from me, which means pushing himself closer to Jade.
