Only Me

Page : 7

"Type"

Day 3

We all have a type.

Or, we all at least have features that we look for in people when deciding if we are attracted to them.

I prefer people with circular faces over oval faces.
I prefer people with obvious beauty marks, such as freckles, over those without.
I prefer people who are more soft and timid over those who are bold and outspoken.

You get the picture.

I prefer Luca.

It started in my sixth-grade math class. A couple of girls were sitting in a circle giggling about their crushes.

Normally these girls never talk to me, they thought I was weird.

My dad always said that I was beautiful, but even then I knew that beautiful meant different.
The bad type of different

One of the girls turned to me and asked, "Who is your crush?"

I didn't have a crush, but I wanted to fit in so badly and all of the other girls had crushes. "Luca", I whispered.

That was the first time I've even entertained the idea of Luca being mine in my head.

"Oh", she said and then start to giggle, before turning and whispering something to her friends that made them all burst out laughing

That was the first time I experienced self hatred based off someone else's real opinion.

From that day on I have tried everything to make Luca take interest in me. Just to prove them wrong.

That's where my obsession began.

"What do you think?", Luca's face reappears in front of mine.

"Of what?", I ask trying to wipe the silly smile off my face.

Tomorrow marks three years of Luca's and Charlie's official relationship.

At the moment Luca is trying to decide what to wear on their date.

"Does my hair go with my shirt?"

Excuse me?

"What?", I laugh at his stupid question.

Once upon a time I would have wanted him to be this nervous about going on a date with me.
I would have wanted him to stress about if his hair matches a shirt because of me.
I would have wanted him to call his friends and ask their opinions on date ideas for me.
But now I'm actually happy that he does not. I would never admit it out loud but I like seeing him with Charlie.

"The shirt is fine Luca", I give him a reassuring smile.

"Do you think she will like it?"

"I think she will love it"

Of course she will love it. I basically planned the whole thing.

Anyone would love it.

"Ok", he smiles at me. Hardly able to contain his excitement for this date.

"Um, I have to go", I lie to him.

I don't like him anymore but, there is only so much I cheesiness I can take.

"Oh, you're going over to Jackson's?", Luca ask with a teasing smile on his face.

"Possibly, why?"

"Nothing, I just think you guys are cute", this is not the first time Luca has hinted to me and Jackson going out.

"It's not even like that", I groan. "We're just friends"

Like me and you.
Just friends

"Make sure you tell that to Jackson the next time you see him, cause loses his mind every time he sees you", Luca jokes.

"Jackson doesn't like me", I give him a confused look.

What is he even talking about?
How could Jackson possibly like me?
I'm not his type

"Does Jackson know that?

I couldn't help but think about what Luca said on my way to Jackson's place. I can list Jackson's type right now.

He likes...

Well I don't know what he likes. He refuses to tell me about things like that.

All I know is that I am not Jackson's type.

"I think the bed should be facing away from the window", Jackson explains.

"No, you need to face the view"

"No, cause then the sun will be in my face when I wake up"

He doesn't like me.
It's impossible.

"When you get a partner, they're going to like waking up with the sun seeping through the curtains on them", that's actually false. Nobody likes to wake with the sun in their face.

I just want to irritate him by disagreeing.

"Do you like waking up with the sun in your face?", he questions.

"Not me, your partner", I redirect the conversation.

"I don't have a partner", he turns back to his bed.

"Not yet, but I want to help you find one. Tell me about your type?"