"You want attention?", I try to fill in.
"Not just attention, it's more than that"
"You sound like you just want at-"
"You", she cuts me off. "I don't only want attention, I want you"
Fuck me, it definitely feels better when she says it sober.
...
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Jackson's P.O.V.
"Veronica, chill", I snap with a small hint of anger in my voice.
"You claim that I'm the one making a big deal out of things but it's you here snapping at me because I touched you"
You make her uncomfortable. The same malicious thought taunts me.
"We don't have to touch tonight", I state in a serious voice.
"It's not the freaking cuddling", she snaps back at me.
"Then what is it?" She is uncomfortable when I touch her and angry when I do not.
I always knew that our friendship would eventually end, shit, I planned the ending my own damn self already. I was going to go to school and for the first few months we would keep in touch but communication would eventually grow less leading to us forgetting about each other.
I never would expect the friendship to end over me not wanting to cuddle her for the sake of her own comfort.
"We agreed to let it go and go back to being normal, this isn't our normal", Veronica explains.
Sometimes I wonder if she even knows who the normal me is? I wasn't trying to always be up under her for no innocent ass reasons.
I was trying to do weirdo ass shit like smell her hair, which smells like coconuts, then fantasize about kissing her on the beach with her wearing a bathing suit so small that it can be described as nothing and her whole ass filling up my hand.
"Go to sleep Veronica", I try to end the argument before it gets too far.
"I'm not done talking"
Now don't get me wrong, I fully understand that a friendship where one person has ulterior motives is not a stable or true friendship, I'm not dense. I also know that I am wrong for initiating friendship without her knowledge of my true intentions and I am willing to take full responsibility for those actions.
What I will not take responsibility for is her discomfort after I have already tried to distance myself.
"I'm done talking", I once again try to end the argument.
Tonight I have to fight every atom in my body that is begging me to touch her. Touch her anywhere.
I'm serious.
I'm laying on my hands right now because they are twitching to touch her.
"You are so ugly", she kisses her teeth and flips to face away from me.
If I laugh she is going to be more upset but I know she did not just call me ugly.
"You're ugly", I rebut, immaturely, after I fail to hide my laugh.
"I'm not ugly, dirtneck"
"I'm not ugly either"
"Jackson", she whines as she flips back to face me again. "Is it because of what I said earlier? Because if it is, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that all your touches make me-"
I like the color of her lips, I like how the top one is significantly darker than the bottom and I like how full they are. I like how they separate and close as she speaks, I wish they were pressed upon mine right now.
"So I'm sorry ok, Jackson? Please stop being mad at me now", she ends her ramble.
I should be the one saying sorry.
"Veronica", I whisper not realizing how much my mind has strayed. "I just want to go to sleep"
