"You want attention?", I try to fill in.
"Not just attention, it's more than that"
"You sound like you just want at-"
"You", she cuts me off. "I don't only want attention, I want you"
Fuck me, it definitely feels better when she says it sober.
...
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Note to self, going to a party with Jackson is a trap. He is an alcoholic and you have never drank before.
"Um, I have a birthmark of a heart on my butt, my first name is Veronica and I might have crush on someone", I giggle with the strangers surrounding me as we play two truths and lie.
"Who do you have a crush on?", my bother ask with hooded eyes, he might be the most sober out of all of us.
I couldn't help the loud giggle that escaped me. I don't have a crush.
"You're wrong Kevin, my name isn't Veronica", I hear someone crack up beside me but I'm too tired to look at who it is.
"Here is some water", Jackson finally comes back with a bottle of water. "I told you not to come", he chides me as he messages my scalp under my box braids with one hand and feeds me water with the next.
Hmm, I think I kinda love him.
"Who do you have a crush on?", my brother ask again.
Shit, even drunk out of mind I know that's fucked up. "I don't have a crush", I tell Kevin in a panicked voice. "I don't", I repeat, looking Jackson in the eyes.
"Are you ready", Jackson turns to Kevin, ignoring my words.
"Yeah, let's head out", Kevin hops off the table he was sitting on.
Why are they ignoring me? I am a person too.
"Are you ready Vee?", Jackson finally ask me.
"I don't have a crush", I repeat like a broken record.
Who are you trying to convince girl?
"I believe you now please get up", he tell me with a gentle smile on his face.
What will it take to have him kiss me again? I wonder as I pull myself up off the hard floor.
Does this count as playing with his feelings? I mean, technically, he made the first move.
"Let's crash at your place tonight", Kevin stumbles as he walks.
"Do you mind staying at my place tonight?", Jackson holds my hand to keep me steady.
"I'm not playing with your feelings", I blurt out. I seem to have a lot to say. "I swear I'm not. I just have been having these thoughts about you that i never had before and I don't know what to do about them."
