"You want attention?", I try to fill in.
"Not just attention, it's more than that"
"You sound like you just want at-"
"You", she cuts me off. "I don't only want attention, I want you"
Fuck me, it definitely feels better when she says it sober.
...
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"When did you guys order food?", my brother asked the silent room. Does he not see the tension?
Whore. The voice inside my head has been insulting me all day. I can't believe it. Have I lost my mind to my pussy? One boy shows me the smallest amount of attention and I'm ready to sit on his face.
"What are you guys looking at?", Kevin asks when neither Jackson nor I respond.
He's waiting for me to break my silence first. And he's going to wait forever if he thinks he can stare me into submission. My body might be begging for this man but I have more pride than that.
No, you don't bitch. No, I don't.
"Who do you have a crush on Vee?", my brother takes a seat at the table, between Jackson and me.
Why does he keep on bringing up that stupid question?
"She doesn't have a crush", Jackson breaks his silence first. "Right Vee?", he raises an eyebrow at me.
"Yes, Jackson", I answer with a sugar sweat smile.
"You heard it from the witch's mouth man, she has no feelings. She's just evil.", Jackson says to Kevin with a smug smile on his face.
I know he did not just call me evil.
I don't even know what to say. I don't know who to blame either.
He never tried to make it my obligation to return his feelings but he always made sure that they were acknowledged. I tried to put distance between us to help things settle faster but that backfired. And now I can't control the tingles in my stomach and vagina when I see him. Plus he kissed me. And let's not forget Jade. Even though I want to forget Jade, and I want him to forget Jade because I want him to only care about me. But does that mean I have feelings for him or am I just territorial over someone who is not mine, yet?
"I'm so confused", I say out loud.
"Me too", Kevin and Jackson respond at the same time.
I know for a fact that I want him now, no point in denying it. But do I want him for his attention or because I like him?
"I think I want him", I say my thoughts out loud again.
"Who is him?", my brother asks in pure confusion.
I mean it's only been like what ten days since I found out his has feelings for me? And it's not like his actions towards he changed all that much, he's definitely a lot less touchy now but somehow much more kinder.
I mean he gives me real compliments now and he asks me about changes in my mood and attitude. That's kind of the bare minimum though.
And yes I like that but I liked when Luca did that too, but then again I only liked Luca because of that. I like Jackson for way much more. I like his personality better, I like his style better, I like his touch better, I like his whole entity more.
What does that mean though?
"Why is nobody answering?", Kevin ask after minutes of silence.
"I don't know what's going on either but let me take you guys home. Jade is asking me to take her somewhere"
"Oh, you and Jade nigga, finally", my brother reaches across the table to dap Jackson up.
