Lolita's Perception

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛

Saturday was a bore as far as Saturdays go. Everyone from school was either sick or busy, so I spent the afternoon sunbathing in the backyard, flipping through the pages of 'Screenland' and listening to Frank Sinatra on the portable radio, while Mother and Mrs. Lafayette sat out on the back porch; drinking lemonade, smoking cigarettes, and planning next week's book club.

Snooze fest.

I didn't see Humbert much, if at all that day. I sorta got the feeling he was keeping his distance from me for some strange and specific reason, although I still wasn't sure exactly what that reason was.

He didn't even come down for dinner that night, and when I brought a plate up to him he hardly even bothered looking up from his typewriter. I couldn't quite understand why, but his dismissive nature made my heart wilt...and after that, I didn't even wanna go down for dinner.

After all, I was sorta starting to get the idea that he liked me...but now, I'm not so sure...

~~*~~

I guess Mother must've noticed I was feeling a little down, 'cause the next day she finally took me shopping for a new bathing suit. Either that, or she just must've noticed how tight the one from last summer was starting to get.

The mall was more crowded than ever that day, and you'll never guess who we saw signing autographs over by the water fountain—yup, none other than Claire Quilty. He looked even better than the last time I'd seen him.

Three years ago, when he came to speak at Mother's book club. Afterwards, while she was busy serving refreshments, he pulled me down on his lap and gave me a great big kiss—right smack-dab on the lips. I hated him for it at the time, figuring it all to be some lame publicity stunt, but the older I got, the dreamier he became in my eyes.

He looked like a movie star—even more so than Humbert—and had a certain daring nature to his suave smile that made my heart flutter. An air of danger, and excitement. Just by looking at him, you could tell he was the sort of guy who threw the most fabulous parties of the century.

Of course, Mother went straight over to go talk to him. I stood shyly behind her just about the entire time, but I caught him catching glimpses of me from over her shoulder. His eyes locked with mine for only half a second, but it felt like an eternity as millions of little butterflies shot all throughout my stomach.

Finally the two of us turned to leave, but I could still feel eyes on me until we disappeared through those great big rotating doors of Bloomingdales. I went straight for the rack filled with colorful prints—cherry, apple, polka dot, gingham—but Mother said those ones were "too loud" so I had to get one of the plain black ones. Yuck.

Well...at least it's a bikini.

I thought to myself with a shrug, on my way upstairs to try it on after we'd finally gotten home.

Admittedly, once I was actually standing in front of the mirror wearing the swimsuit it didn't seem so bad. In fact...I was actually starting to like the thing. It was swank, and sophisticated, and best of all: made me feel like a Rita Hayworth type Hollywood starlet.

It even matched my favorite pair of sunglasses.

Not feeling so bad anymore, I took my newfound confidence and went out to sunbathe in the backyard. To my surprise, Humbert was sitting out on the porch; reading today's paper, and smoking from a shiny, brand-new tobacco pipe. I gave him a quick little smile, but before either of us got a single word in, Mother suddenly appeared behind me like a great big dark cloud. I only ignored her, turning right back around to face Humbert.

"Gimme the funnies," I said with a little mischievous grin, yanking the comics section away from the paper before he'd even gotten a chance to reply. But Hummy didn't seem to mind at all, and even laughed a little. For such a serious looking guy, he sure does seem to have a terrific sense of humor.

Not long afterwards, I joined Mother over on the beach towels strewn out across the overgrown lawn. If it weren't for the misty spray of out lawn sprinklers, the sticky heat would've been beyond unbearable that day.
With a soft, sun-induced yawn, I stretched out on my stomach, swinging my bare feet to the tune of 'Rum and Coca-Cola' (which Mother has cranked all the way up on the phonograph inside), before soon falling down the rabbit hole of green-red-blue world of Sunday comics.

I bet Humbert thought just 'cause I didn't turn back to face him that I didn't catch that old dope looking at me all googley-eyed again, but sure enough, I did.

After all...doesn't he know that every girl carries a compact mirror with her?

~~*~~

Well, today was a total bust. We were supposed to go to Hourglass Lake (in fact, Mother had even packed a picnic) but just before noon it started storming, and now the whole neighborhood is practically a lake itself.

After that things got even worse, 'cause apparently I'd forgotten to take the laundry down from the clothesline. How was I supposed to know it was gonna rain? Anyways, now all the clothes are wet, and Mother won't stop hollering over it. So, eventually I just ended up hollering right back, and from there on out it all sorta went to hell.

I shut myself away in my room for the entire rest of the day, moping around while listening to the records Grandma Haze had given me for my tenth birthday. Ella Fitzgerald, Andrew Sisters, Flanagan & Allen. Over and over again, 'till Mother eventually called me down for dinner.

Her eyes still looked angry, but she had a fake smile plastered across her face for Humbert, who had already taken a seat at the table. Right beside me.

"I don't understand why I can't just eat in my room," I remarked, tingling with annoyance.

"Just sit down." Mother replied with pursed lips.

Soon enough, I realized that pretty much the only reason she'd called me down for dinner in the first place was to embarrass me.

Halfway through the lobster, she cleared her throat and passively remarked. "Dolly, what was the name of that film and I went to see last month?"

I shrugged, glancing up at her for a split second without much thought. "I don't remember,"

"Oh, but surely you remember that heartthrob of a lead—what was his name again—oh, I don't quite remember...but I do remember you having quite the little crush on him."

I felt my whole face grow hot with embarrassment, but I just rolled my eyes and pretended not to care.

"In fact," she continued, "now that I think about it...he almost looked like he could've been your twin, Professor Humbert!"

I caught that awful, evil little smirk cross her face for just half second, and in that moment I just about wanted to smack it right off. At that point I knew my face was bright red, and I practically wanted to cry.

Great, now he's gonna think I'm just some dumb little girl with a movie-star crush...