Its nearing the end of 2020, I've seen it all this year. I've seen my "man" almost find out about Angii not being his, Avani being my sister, dad is in jail, too many things are happening. My mind cannot deal.
Im on the side of my bed, crying. I usually do this when I realise. This happens when I do some introspection and thats why I hate introspection. It makes me she how much of a whore I am and realising that pains me.
My mind is now thinking about suicide. Hmmm, suicide. This has been a thought that I've had to deal with since I was 16 years old. Yoh, when I was sixteen, I was a mess neh. I landed in hospital for attempting suicide for a month. I still passed through it all. My mother took me to psychologist, begging that they convince me that I should not make that mistake and take my life. All of that was a waste of money honestly. I stopped thinking like that either way so, it worked. Kudos to you psychologist.
Now, all of those sessions don't matter. I take my tie and hang it on the chandelier. I pray. I apologize for the pain I've caused to all those that I hurt and forgive all those that hurt me. Amen.
I cry for an hour. I don't know why I can't come to do it. Ohhh. Now I know- Angii, Libra, Mom, Brother. They're in my mind. They've worked so hard for me to be here right now . I can't die. Not now I can't. I take down the tie and walk out of the room . Those sessions matter now and I'm not going to kill myself anymore.
Why though? Do I have to go through this and still be alive in the end ? Why? But you know what? No one else deserves what I'm going through either way so its all good. I'm going to endure.
YOU ARE READING
The Script
Teen Fictionthis is a poem based on a story that is yet to be published in due time called "The Script" . It is about a 19-year old grl who is repeating matriculant at a former model-C school and is faced with a number of challenges from fake friends, to enemie...
