The air felt a little bit colder than usual tonight in the small town of Vera Aloe. A middle school bus pulled up to an old, secluded two-story house on the edge of town. Out came Kevin the kangaroo and Max the macaw.
"Yo! Your mom would kill us if she found out I was here!" Kevin said.
"I know! She fuckin' hates yo ass man," Max responded.
"She probably has something against BIG DICKS!" Kevin shouted loudly before sticking his tongue out obnoxiously and sexually.
"Ay man! You nasty! And shut the fuck up."
"Who's gonna hear me? Not like you got neighbors!"
The pair walked into Max's house. Kevin threw his backpack on the floor and headed straight for the kitchen.
"Now where does Ms. Max Mommy keep her BOOZE! I'm tryna get lit bruh!" Kevin yelled while opening all the cabinets.
"She keeps that shit in the garage, I'll go get it," Max responded.
"Yeah! Get that shit quick!" Kevin shouted as Max walked away.
Kevin began to observe the family pictures on the fridge.
"Damn, Max got a fine ass mommy! Woo!" Kevin said to himself.
Plip plop plip plop
Kevin was startled by that noise, "Max is that you?"
There was no response. Kevin walked towards the garage to find Max coming back with two packages of beer.
"Let's get lit bro!!" Max yelled.
"Fuck yeah!!" Kevin screamed.
The two sat down on the family room couch and began chugging down can after can of beer.
"Let's watch a fuckin' movie bro," Kevin demanded.
"What movie?" Max asked.
"One where the lead girl has BIG TITS!" Kevin snickered before giving Max a high-five.
Max pulled up FurHub and started playing a movie titled, Naughty Teacher: Extra Credit for Extra Big Students. Out came the lead actress, Florencia the fox.
"Hey students. Today we're going to be learning about the food groups... let's start with MEAT!" Florencia said sexually in the opening scene.
"God damn! She FINE!" Kevin hollered.
"I'd totally smash bro," Max said.
"Yo man, my dick getting hard.." Kevin said.
"Ew man! Miss me with that gay shit!" Max yelped before jumping off the couch while Kevin laughed hysterically.
"It's the BOOZE TALKING, FUCKER!" Kevin yelled right before all the power went out.
The room was almost pitch black. The TV turned off. The heater turned off.
"What the fuck bro?" Kevin asked.
"God dammit, our fuckin' electricity acts up sometimes."
"Well, what are we gonna do? Sit around all night and suck each other's dicks?! Go fix it!"
"Chill the fuck out! Lemme find a flashlight."
Plip plop plip plop
"Yo, you better not be jackin' off over there," Max said.
"I'm not bro, what the fuck do you think I am?" Kevin responded.
"Then what's that noise?"
They both listened.
Plip plop plip plop
"I don't know man! Just fix the power so we can continue watching some titties in action!" Kevin yelled at Max.
Max finally got his macaw feather fingers on a flashlight and headed towards the garage to check on the power box.
Kevin didn't like being in the dark, so he stepped outside to the patio, where the moon radiated its beautiful light. He heard it again.
Plip plop plip plop plip plop
Kevin turned around instantly, but saw nothing. After about five minutes of waiting, he was getting extremely impatient.
"I knew I should have went to Fiona's and fucked her all fucking night long.." he softly said to himself.
He looked out at the lake, observing how the moonlight reflected off of its calm, mirroring surface. After five more minutes, he felt too cold and went back inside.
"Where the fuck are you!!" Kevin yelled.
No response.
"I said where the fuck are you!!!!"
No response.
"Stop messin' around and come out you little shit!"
No response.
Plip plop plip plop
That noise was driving him insane! But before he could say anything else, the power came back on. The lights. The TV. Everything.
"Oh, thank goodness bro!" Kevin yelled as he walked over to the garage. He opened the door, but Max was nowhere to be found.
"Max? Stop hiding and get out here man!" Kevin called out. He stepped into the garage and started rummaging through all the junk in there.
"Max, I'm tired of playing around! Come the fuck out!" Kevin angrily yelled.
Then he turned his head. He saw Max standing in the doorway. A smile carved into his macaw neck. Blood waterfalling out of it.
"I.." Max couldn't finish his sentence as he fell to the ground, twitching and drowning in his own blood.
"What the fuck?! What the fuck?! What the FUCK?!?!" Kevin cried out as he ran back into the house and towards the front door.
He tried opening the door, but it was locked and he heard the noise again.
Plip plop plip plop plip plop
"AHHHHHH!" Kevin screamed as he ran for the stairs.
The noise got faster.
Plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop
And faster.
Plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop
And faster.
Plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop plip plop
Kevin reached the top of the stairs before he felt the knife digging into his back, scraping at his spinal cord.
"FUCK!" he cried out in pain as he helplessly fell to the floor on his kangaroo stomach. He rolled over to view his perpetrator.
Plip. Plop. Plip. Plop.
The webbed feet stepped closer and closer to Kevin.
"Bad. Boy." Devin said to him.
Kevin let out one final cry of terror before Devin brought down the knife against his abdomen. Again. And again. And again....
YOU ARE READING
the tales of a lifetime book 3
HumorIt would be bold to assume that the stoopids would live a peaceful life following the traumatizing concert massacre at Jungle Wungle town. Even three years later, in a secluded town, the stoopids find themselves embarking on another adventure of a l...
