The One They Left Behind

S I X T E E N

Rose didn't miss the nervous look on Hillary's face when they saw each other at work on Wednesday.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, but I just wanted to make sure you're ok." Hillary said instead of greeting her.

"It actually went pretty well. I woke up this morning without that little voice in my head nagging me about why he left. I got my answers, and maybe they weren't what I hoped they'd be, but I still feel a lot better." Rose answered giving Hillary a shy smile. 

Hillary gave her an understanding nod and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "So you got what you needed?" She asked.

"Yeah, I think I did. It's still going to be a rocky road, but at least now I know there's a chance to move forward." Rose answered, walking towards her classroom further in the building.

"I'm glad. Look Rose, I'm really sorry about what I said before, I know I already apologized but I just wanted to tell you again, I'm really sorry and no matter what happens I'll be here for you." Hillary said, looking a little nervous.

"I know, and I love you for it." Rose said, smiling at her concerned friend. 

*** 

After work that afternoon, Rose was surprised to see Diana waiting for her. 

"Hey, what's up?" Rose said, trying to tamper down her shock at seeing her there.

"I was just dropping by to pick up Paige's earbuds, she said she left them here." Diana answered.

"Oh sure, if we still have them they'll be in the lost and found" Rose began to lead Diana to the front of the studio, pulling out a box half filled with miscellaneous items from being the front counter. "We have Apple earbuds here, and also some pink dollar store ones, are either of these hers?" She held up the two options.

"The Apple ones are hers." Diana said, reaching for the headphones. 

Rose handed them to her and put the box away. 

"Do you need anything else?" Rose asked, slowly moving around the counter so she could grab the rest of her things.

"Yeah. Actually, I thought you might want to come over this weekend, we could hangout, just like old times." Diana offered with a large smile.

Rose briefly hesitated to answer. Although she wanted to move on and be friend with Diana, she was exhausted from trying to fix so many of the relationships in her life. 

"Yeah sure, I don't have work Saturday afternoon, would that work?" Rose finally said, making her decision.

"Perfect! I'll see you at school tomorrow." Diana said, flitting out the door in the same silent, breezy way she had arrived.

***

When Rose rang the doorbell at Diana's house that Saturday she was more nervous than she would care to admit. 

Mrs. Haynes opened the door with a broad grin.

"Hi there love, the girls are in the basement so you can go ahead and join them. Paige and Clayton are in the backyard so they won't bother you." She said, beckoning Rose into the house. 

Rose slowly made her way into the basement, Mrs. Haynes mention of other girls in the house putting her on edge. She wasn't entirely sure who to expect.

"Rose! You made it!" Diana exclaimed when she saw Rose making her way down the stairs. 

Rose met the girl with a hug, her smile falling when she pulled away and saw Renee relaxing on the couch Diana had come from.

"Hi," Rose greeted, attempting to put her feelings for the girl aside for Diana.

Renee met Rose with wide eyes, but something told Rose it wasn't from the shock of seeing her there. She knew.

"He's back?" Renee asked, her voice almost a whisper. "Jonathan came back?"

"How did you find out?" Rose said, knowing she wasn't looking for an answer.

"Diana told me." Renee said, her eyes boring into Rose. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't he tell me?" She seemed at a loss.

"He said not to. I promised I wouldn't let you know." Rose stated, her own voice losing volume.

"What gives you the right to not tell me? He was my best friend! I watched him leave and waited to hear something, anything, from him, and of course you never would have understood, every time I tried to talk to you about him, you would shut down!" Renee's said, her voice becoming a crescendo.

"He left me too! I didn't know that you two were close, I thought you were just trying to see how I was doing about him being gone and I didn't want to think about it." Rose tried to explain.

"But you must've known where he was! You knew and you never told me or anyone. You're just a bitch who wants everyone to be in the same amount of pain as you are." Renee accused, her voice going scarily calm. 

"No. I didn't know where he was. I never knew. And I think you'll find the person who wants everyone to feel her pain is you, you belittle everyone so that they feel just as badly as you do, but that's not going to help you." Rose said, shaking her head. She finally understood why Renee acted the way she did, one she hadn't expected.

She turned to Diana, who was still standing quietly behind Rose, seemed bewildered by what had just happened.

"How did you find out my brother is back in town?" She asked her.

"Clayton told me. I didn't think it was a secret." Diana answered, seeming a little guilty. 

"Of course he did. I guess I'll have to talk to him about that later." Rose sighed, feeling suddenly very tired. "Look, I think I'm going to go. We can try to do this another time when this has cooled down a bit, but right now I really just want to go home and figure out what to do. I'll see you later" 

Diana didn't seem to protest, which Rose was ultimately thankful for.

"Please don't say anything about Jonathan being back to anyone else. Oh, and Renee? Let me tell him you know before you talk to him. It might do you both some good if you're calm before you talk to him." She said, turning back from her position on the stairs.

Renee scoffed but nodded her head in agreement, seeing some sense in what Rose said. 

Feeling the true extent of the emotional exhaustion, Rose left with a flutter of her hand as goodbye, wanting to just curl up in bed and forget today had happened.