Not good enough

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 1:
The sound of his breath wakes me up. I turn to the side, and I watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful.

- You know...staring is weird- he says with his morning voice.
I laugh at his comment.

- Well, good morning to you too Harold- I tell him while I place a kiss on his forehead.
it's the end of the summer already. we're starting senior year on Monday. And it's Saturday.

- You'll love it, I promise- he tells me while walking out of bed.
Ever since summer started, harry and I have spend every single second with each other. I know it sounds crazy, but we have. We have visited places that we've always wanted to visit, to create great memories. And today was our last summer memory.
- I still haven't heard you tell me where we're going- I state.
- I want this one to be special... a surprise-
- You know I hate surprises- I whisper
- You'll love this one... just prepare a bikini for tonight- he says.
- For tonight ? -
he laughs and gets dressed.
We walk downstairs, and we see my mom cooking breakfast.
- here you go guys!- she gives us the pancakes and the chocolate.
We finish eating, and get ready for the daily run.
I've been following a healthy diet during the summer. Three meals a day, two hours of exercise. And a lot of water.
Harry decided that if I was going on a run every single day, he'll do it with me.
- Come on... you're so slow!- he screams while running outside.
- Oh you'll see!- I start running towards him, and finally catch him.
He laughs while breathing heavily.
- Are you tired already sir? - I ask ironically
- Oh... shut up- he laughs.
We keep running in silence now. And we arrive to the park.
He sits on a bench, looking up to the sky, and I do the same.
- Thank you- I whisper against his neck.
- For what?- he asks confused.
- For staying... for finding a way to share all your love with me, for trusting me- I tell him
- There's no one else I would share my love with Al, you're the only one- he kisses me gently.
We head back home, we both get in the shower.
* play lovely day by Bill Withers*
water starts falling down on us
- Pass me the shampoo- he screams
the music fills the room, and I see him with his messy curls, laughing and singing.
- COME ON! JOIN ME! You know you want to- he tells me.
We both sing now.
We get out of the shower. And he covers both of us with a huge towel while he dances.
God, I love him.
- We need to get dressed- I whisper
- What for? Being naked is the best- he screams. He drops the towel to the floor and opens the door.
I can't believe he's such an idiot but smart person at the same time.
****
once I'm ready. I grab my phone.
- All done ma lady ?-
I laugh at the way he says that.
We both get in the car and start driving through the dark night.
The sky is filled with shining stars, the air is cold, but warm at the same time.
He parks on the side of the road.
We get down and we start walking, I can barely see anything.
We arrive to the destination, and I'm fascinated by it. So simple but so beautiful.

* play blackbird by the beatles*
harry sits on the bridge.
- Why did you bring me here ?- I ask.
- Because, here... I came here by myself the day I knew I was in love with you... and I promised myself that, if you survived, one day we'd come together- he says. - Because this used to be my comfort place... but now it's  you-
his words go straight to my heart. He has no idea, but his words hit so close.
- I used to come here when I was anxious about a big change...- he tells me.
- And what are you afraid of hazz?- I ask him
- The future... the things that will happen in the future, that we have no idea. What I'll become, what I will do for the rest of my life- he speaks – I'm scared that I won't be as happy as I am now...-
- You know... I think being scared is a good thing, because it means you care, but you're also more ready for the future than you think...- I begin to tell him. - You see Harry, you think I haven't noticed, but you're sort of a genius. Your ability to learn and the passion you put on everything makes you unique. you're very smart, and I'm sure that whatever you want you'll get it, but not because it's easy for you, but because you work hard for the things you want...- I keep going. - And if you're worried about us, I suggest you stop. Because I'm not going anywhere. One of the things you've tought me, is how to love. How to love someone. you've showed me things about myself I never knew, and I think that's beautiful, being with someone who can teach you something new, good or bad about yourself, make you understand, and help you to grow and love that... well, I think I'd never let go of that someone... so no, Harry, I'd never let you go- I finish.
He looks at me with a big smile, and watered eyes.
- I think you underestimate your level of inteligence, especially with words miss- he tells me. - Your words are one of the things that fascinate me the most. You speak so carefully but yet so full of mystery -.
I laugh and kiss him.
We now look at the water under us.
- Come on... let's get in-
- It's freezing harry- I laugh.
He starts taking off his clothes.
- I thought I should keep my pants, but there's nothing better than a night splash... naked- he smirks. He jumps into the water, and comes out with his wet messy curls. - Come on !- he screams.
I undress myself, leaving the bikini on
he looks at me with a puppy face.
- Fine... but turn around- I tell him
- Oh come on... I've seen it before!- he complains .
I laugh watching him turn around.
I jump into the water now. At first it felt cold, but now it feels just right.
- Harry? Where are you ?- I can't find him.
All the sudden I feel his warm chest on my back.
- You scared me- I scream
he laughs.
- Baby... I don't know what the future will bring us-. He begins to say. - But I want you to know that I love you, and I always will. And I will prove that every single day-.
* play salted wound by sia *
he places his hands around my waist, and his forehead against mine.
- I know haz... I love you too- I tell him.
He looks into my eyes. And now looks at my lips.
- I just want you to remember... that I'd love you, always and forever Alex-
I kiss him. Hard. He lifts me up inside the water, and I place my legs around his waist. He slowly walks back, and we hit the bridge.
We both laugh about it.
We get out of the water. And we lay in the cold floor of the bridge. He kisses my neck all the way back to my lower stomach.
He looks at me, smiling. But it's a soft smile.
- Is it okay if I use this?- he asks.
I laugh about his question.
- I just don't want to finger you unless you want to... I was making sure...-
I grab his chin.
- It's okay...- I place a soft kiss on his lips.
He goes down again. And I feel his finger inside of me.
It was the first time in my life I actually experienced this.
Stupid, right ?
- Harry...- I whisper.
He keeps moving his finger faster, and I feel his second finger in.
my back separates from the floor. He places his other hand on my back, while moving his fingers.
- Ha...- my words don't come out anymore. My breath is heavy, and it gets faster every time.
He keeps kissing my belly.
- I love you- he whispers.
- I... love y...- I can't hold any longer, and I come. My muscles release all the tension they were in.
he kisses me all the way up till he reaches my lips again.
I smile against his lips.
- I love you harry-.
He jumps one last time into the water, and comes out again. His naked body shines with the lights from above.
He's standing up on the bridge, drying his curls with the towel.
I come closer to him, and pass my hand through his chest. I reach his lower stomach, and I look him in the eyes, as I kneel in front of him.
- What are you doing Al?- he asks.
I smile at him, while putting my hair up in a ponytail.
I place my hands around his waist, admiring him. he's big, really big.
- Are you sure?- he asks.
I nod.
- I'm sure-. I whisper.