Not good enough

CHAPTER 5

2 MONTHS LATER
HARRY'S POV:
I decided with my family to study at home this year. After my last visit to Alex, I decided to go back to London, with my family. To clear my mind and work on myself, and get as many help as I can.
Once I'm dressed, I run downstairs to eat something before I head off to therapy. Teresa has been helping me a lot with our sessions.
I park in the last free spot I find, and enter the building.
- Good afternoon, Harry. Come in please- I walk past her, and we both sit on the couch.
- How have you been?- she asks. I see her, as usual, open her notebook and write.
- I've been fine, I guess- I tell her. - It's very hard for me to be apart, specially for such a long time. I miss her, but It's whats best for both of us, and I want her to get better, so...-
she keeps writing.
- Today, we'll be talking about your past, and your future. Starting of slowly, and then heading into the deep memories – she says.
I nod.
- So Harry, tell me... Growing up, how has your family supported your dream of being a superstar? -
- I mean, for me it's just a dream now, I look back at it and laugh. But in general, they've always been very supportive in every decision I've made. I have a great family- I tell her.
- So now, what do you want to do when you get older?- she asks.
- I'm not really sure, I would like to be some sort of lawyer, something that has to do with justice, or helping people-
she writes again.
- What about her? How do you see yourself in 20 years? What are your plans for when you're 37 ?- she asks.
- Well, I...- I close my eyes, and take a deep breath-
* play die alone by FINNEAS *
- I expect to be married by 25- I laugh. - I would ask her to marry me in her favorite place in the world... she'd say yes, we'd both cry, happy tears... and, and two years later, she would tell me that she's pregnant, and we'd have children, at least two- I keep telling her, with my eyes closed and a smile on my face. - we'd live in a beautiful wood house, next to the beach... we'd teach our kids to surf, we'd write together, we'd tell them stories, we'd dance under the stars... or just in our living room, but we'd do it all together, and we'd be happy... because we have the time, all the time we wish to have-. I take a deep breath. I wished for this future, I really did.
- That's really beautiful Harry- she tells me.
We keep talking a little longer, until the session is over.
I make my way back home.
- Dinner is on the table !- my mom screams.
We all sit on the table. We laugh, we talk about our day.
it's hard to smile without her by my side. But happiness comes with a price. And if being together means having to stay apart for a long time, so be it. we'll find each other soon again.
Once I'm done, I clean up the dishes, and head up to my room
I lock myself in, and I take my diary and sit in front of the piano.
I start playing this melody, and words come out from my heart.
* play what they'll say about us by FINNEAS *
- You're tired now, lie down... I'll be waiting, to give you the good news- I keep letting the words take over. - it might take patience. And when you wake up, it won't be over... So don't you, give up...- I take a deep breath and keep singing. - We've got the time to take the world, and make it better than it ever was...that's what they'll say about us- I write everything down so I don't forget. it's been really long since I've written something, but it feels good. One day I'll sing for her...
it's late now, so I take off my clothes and get into bed.
I'm really tired, so I close my eyes, and let go for the night.