Claire's Diary ( On Hold )

Chapter 1

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Author's note:

If you read the summary, then you should know this book does deal with depression and suicide. There are parts that are upsetting and could be considered disturbing. So if you don't handle this kind of stuff well, I suggest you read no further.

I was inspired to write this from multiple situations I have found myself in. Many of my closest loved ones (friends and family) have dealt with these kind of things, including my own self. I hope I can raise awareness about being depressed, along with simply the feelings of worthlessness and loneliness.

This book is lesbian, and involves sexual activity, but I'm sure that won't be an issue. ;3

This is my first story I've written in first person, so give me some slack.

The videos I post on the side are songs that fit well with the story and are about love, sadness, hard times, and depression.

Please enjoy, and leave your comments. Oh, and vote! Thank you. <3

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"I'm digging my way to something better. i'm sowing the seeds I take for granted. This thorn in my side is from the tree I planted. And it tears me and I bleed."  -Metallica

Chapter One

I watched Claire through my shaded, dark sunglasses. She looked so fine as she climbed the small stairs up to the diving board. Her skin was tan, and her dirty blonde hair danced in the wind.

It was a hot, summer day, and I was laying on a long armchair, watching my girlfriend from not too far away. We were at the pool, despite the fact that water scared me. My fear was nothing like it used to be, though. I had always been so scared of water for no particular reason. I thought that if I simply stepped foot inside the liquid, I would for sure drown. It was silly of me to think such a thing, and Claire was the one who had somewhat gotten me over my fear. She loved and admired the water. She had been swimming since she was little, and during the winter, she hiked into the indoor swimming pools.

It was so hot that day, that I would have joined her in the pool, but school was going to be starting up in about two more weeks. I had naturally pale skin, and was attempting to darken it as much as possible before school. My complexion only appeared ten times more dramatic when I was with Claire, because she was a naturally tan girl. She didn't need the sun to help her.

I was suppose to be watching my little brother, Thomas, who was six years old, but I just couldn't take my eyes off of my love. She was rocking her small, pink bikini which wrapped around her body perfectly. The swimsuit allowed her silver belly button ring to show, which was even more of a turn on.

Me, Thomas, and Claire had all come to the pool, but before we had, my mom had lectured me nonstop about making sure to take good care of him. I didn't understand what the big deal was, though. He was six. He wasn't an infant anymore. In my opinion, my mother worried way too much. My father always took my side by insisting she relax. I suppose that my mother's stress was sweet. She cared about me and Thomas so much.

But despite all that, my eyes were stuck onto Claire. She looked even more tan than she already was because of the dark glasses I wore.

I watched her gently bounce on the edge of the diving board. Her eyes were staring at the crystal-like water below her. The pool wasn't too crowded, which confused me because of the steaming hot weather. One would think that at such a high temperature, there would be no room for us to even get inside the water. Not even to mention that school was going to start up soon, so kids should be using their short free time left outside.