Jemily One Shots

Fire

JJ didn't know what she was expecting to see when her, Henry, Penelope, and Reid pull up to Morgan and Penelope's house. But a fire truck and Emily and Derek sitting on the back of an ambulance was not it.

The three cars pull into the driveway the best they could without blocking the emergency vehicles. JJ leaves Henry in the car and her and Penelope both quickly get out of their cars and walk over to the two agents covered in ash and soot. Reid soon followed.

Once she assessed the damage both to the agents and the treehouse, she was glad to know that the agents were perfectly fine, and the house while it took a few things, it was relatively okay, enough for it to take a couple of hours of repairs.

Although, she couldn’t say per-se that the agents were fine. A little shaken up, of course, but they look guilty enough for her to know that it wasn’t an accident at all. Emily was looking down at the ground, while Morgan was certainly avoiding her stare and his wife's.

"What the hell happened?" Penelope asks concerned and a little angry. JJ stands with her arms crossed and her threatening look she only used with unsubs (and when she’s being bad cop mom to Henry). Reid stands behind the women looking confused.

"Babygirl, I just told you over the phone. It was a freakish accident." Derek continues coughing while Emily pretends to cough as well but all she's doing is laughing but covering her mouth with her fist.

"Emily Prentiss, what happened?" Jennifer says using her mom voice.

"Uh- a dragon sneezed." Emily lies. The blondes look at Derek.

"I tried to light a cigar with a flame thrower." Derek quickly says lying again.

"You don't even smoke. Try again." Penelope says.

"Uh? I dropped a mix tape?" Derek says, more like asks. The culprits could now see that the blonde women were angry.

"We screwed up, big time." Emily says.

"Emily, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be much more specific." JJ says. Derek and Emily both lower their heads like puppies in trouble.

"You have one more chance before I have to call Hotch and Rossi and tell them that their dumbass agents burned the treehouse." Jennifer says and the two culprits turn to each other, silently communicating with their eyes. Still they don’t say anything and just keep on watching each other and she’s about to pull out her phone to do just that, call Hotch and Rossi and let them know about the incident so that they could help her and Penelope with the appropriate grounding action.

They might be adults, but they are never to old to ground. So whenever one of their so called "good ideas" turns bad they will still get in trouble with their girlfriend/wife and Hotch and Rossi aka, mom and dad.

After all they burned down the fucking treehouse!

Even though JJ and Penelope have been through this countless of times with the two adult children, whether it would be because one of them punched the other, or when one of them (ok both of them) went off on Strauss for being a bitch. How neither one of them had been fired by the Dragon Lady was beyond them. Or when they caught the coffee maker on fire at the BAU that one time, or when they broke the ceiling in the bullpen, or when one of them-

JJ could go on and on, but this was new, and she wasn’t equipped to handle this right now. "Let's make a deal."

Emily speaks before Derek can say otherwise. "We're listening." Always the instigator and the mind behind almost all of their shenanigans, she leans towards her blonde girlfriend as if they were about to concoct another one of her crazy ideas.

"I won't tell Hotch and Rossi what you did if you tell me the truth and not the half ass lie that you just made up on the spot." Derek turns to Emily and silently has a conversation with their eyes again. While Derek’s eyes say yes, Emily’s eyes scream no. The debate goes on for two minutes before JJ goes insane with their silent conversation.

"Ok you two, your time is up, so what would it be?" Penelope looks at the agents and they seem to reach a verdict. Derek seems to have won the battle when Emily sighs and her shoulders drop and begins to fidget in her spot.

"We will take it." Emily nods and JJ only raises one eyebrow expecting one of them to continue with the bargain.

"So Derek freaked out because he and Penelope had talked about wanting to have a baby," Emily says and JJ whispers "finally," to which Emily nods, because there’s no denying Penelope and Derek both wanted to be parents. "Right? So then Derek kept pacing around the treehouse like a mad man and knocked over some candles and we may or may not have been stashing some alcohol Derek stole from Rossi's bar and that spilled too so, ya, that explains the fire." Emily says.

"Yeah, I'm gonna head out now, um? See you guys later." Reid says walking to his car. He pulls out of the driveway and the two blonde women turn back to their significant other.

JJ and Penelope stare at the two of them and tries to look stern but they fail when they see Derek embarrassed and hiding behind his hands and Emily mouths 'amateur'.

JJ rolls her eyes and laughs at them. "Well, we need to talk about the fact that you stole Rossi's alcohol." JJ says.

"Yeah, why'd you even do that?" Penelope asks cutting JJ off.

"We wanted to see what happens if you were to take lots of different types of alcohol, and different brands and whatever, and mix them. Then put it in a bottle and light it on fire." Derek explains like all of what he just said was an actual good idea.

"Yeah, but this dumbass was just so nervous that he literally blew up our treehouse!" Emily says in jest and Derek rolls his eyes and punches her in the arm.

"I didn’t."

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn’t."

"Well, it’s cute that you’re nervous about having a baby- Wait?" JJ says and turns to Penelope. "You guys are having a baby?" She asks smiling.

Penelope laughs before answering, "We are thinking about it. But after this I don't know if I want a baby with that man." She says pointing at Derek.

"I'm just glad you guys are safe." Penelope says and hugs Derek.

He mumbles against her shoulder, "Are you going to tell mom and dad?"

"Just about the fire but not what caused it. Next time just- nope not falling for that." JJ says with her arms around her girlfriend's neck.

“What about the science experiment?” Emily says, looking innocent and cute. JJ and Penelope look at each other for a few seconds.

"We'll allow it, and I'm sure Reid can tell you what will happen. But if Hotch and Rossi find out, you’ll be on your own. They can’t know that we knew." Emily hugs her even tighter and Derek fists bumps the air.

"You’re the best." Derek says.

"I know." Penelope replies.

"Whoa, geez Mama, your ego is enormous!"

"First of all, hopefully soon he won't be the only one callin' you 'mama'. And second, just imagine if Hotch and Rossi would’ve been here, instead." JJ says.

"Oh thank god, it’s you.” Emily quips and the four of them laugh until they hear a clearing throat behind them. One that they all know it belongs to Hotch. How did they not see them pull up, get out of their cars and walk up behind them? They don’t know but the one thing they do know is that the four of them, especially Emily and Derek, are screwed.

"How much do you think they heard?" Emily whispers and the other three shrug.

"We're fucked." JJ says.

"Yeah." Penelope says sighing.

"Just blame Derek." Emily whispers, and Derek rolls his eyes.