The Lies An Actor Can Bring To Life

Chapter One- The Sick, The Injured, and the Tired

It wasn't rare to find Darkiplier at his desk when he wasn't dealing with the out of control Ipliers. He slumped over the papers with his head in his hand as he... well... he did something with the documents. Dark doesn't remember what he was doing. The Ego looked up and rolled his neck to relieve the pain from slouching. As Dark had a moment to himself, he realized the house was quiet, a dangerous and rare thing for the Iplier house. Dark looked away from the articles and bent on the top of the chair to pop his back. He then stood up and walked out of his dim room.

As Dark walked out, the confirmed silence made him grow slightly uneasy. The Jim Twins were not running around screaming in their own Jim language about the latest story; Wilford Warfstache wasn't yelling something alongside of the sound of gunshots, and King of the Squirrels wasn't in the kitchen stealing another jar of peanut butter. Dark couldn't hear Derek Derekson yelling at his son, Eric, or Yandereplier torturing another person who looked at his crush, or Yancy loudly singing some show tunes he sang in prison.

Dark went to the first place he thought of to look for an Ego. He knocked on an old door with the red dim words On Air in the middle. Not hearing an answer, Dark quietly walked in, not wanting to disturb the blind Ego.

"Host?" Dark quietly called, not seeing the man at his recording desk.

"The Host groans and stretches his arms over his head, relieving the pain in his back as he asks Darkiplier what he was doing in his room." Dark turned to the bed in the corner, seeing Host groan and stretch as he narrated his movements.

"I'm sorry for intruding, but I was wondering why everything is so quiet. No Ipliers are running around or screaming; Mark's not loudly recording a video. It was weird letting the Iplier house go quiet, and I might have gotten a little worried," Dark admitted. The Host yawned and wrapped a blanket around himself.

"As the Host buried himself in his blankets, he replies with a yawn that everyone went to bed early," Host narrated. Dark looked at his wristwatch, checking the time.

"It's only three in the afternoon; no Iplier would go to bed at this time. There are a few Ipliers that don't even sleep," Dark said, confused. Host groaned again and turned towards the wall.

"The Host rolls over to face the wall and clarifies that the sleepless Ipliers claimed to feel sick or damaged as he asked Darkiplier to let him rest," Host narrated.

"Right. Once again, I apologize for disturbing you," Dark said, hearing Host mumble under his breath as the Dark Ego left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

"Feeling sick or damaged?" Dark muttered to himself as he went to check on another Ego. The door was pink with the outline of a mustache in the middle. Dark knocked and heard a slurred answer from the other side of the door. Dark walked in, ignoring the burning in his eyes from the explosion of pink on the walls, and saw Wilford Warfstache lying on his bed with his torso dangling over the edge.

"Heeyyyy, buddy ol' pal!" Wilford yelled, making him wince and hold his head, mumbling curse words under his breath.

"Wilford? Is everything alright?" Dark asked, keeping his distance just in case Wilford was sick.

"I feel like the way an old moldy snickerdoodle would taste," Wilford groaned, making Dark raise an eyebrow.

"Eric isn't around. You're allowed to curse," Dark said.

"I'm not taking any chances," Wilford replied, wanting to keep the anxious boy pure.

"I wanted to check on you. It was strange that the house is so quiet. Is everyone else in their rooms too?" Dark asked, helping the other man sit in his bed correctly.

"Nah. Dr. Iplier is going around givin' everyone check-ups, Bing is babysitting the dead lookin' kid, Silver Shephard is with the superhero guy, and King's at the park, making sure the squirrels aren't sick either," Wilford muttered.

"No questions are needed to know that "Dead looking kid" is Jacksepticeye's thumbnail ego, but what about Superhero Guy?" Dark asked, pulling the covers over Wilford.

"You know, the guy I mistook for a giant horrifying sunburn?" Wilford clarified, slightly raising his head.

"Do you mean Jackieboy Man?" Dark asked, raising his eyebrow.

"That's the giant sunburn I'm talking about," Wilford said with a chuckle. Dark slightly rolled his eyes but smirked at Wilford's attitude.

"I'm going to get the others to bed, then call Dr. Schneeplestein to check on everyone and to pick up Robbie. Do you need anything?" Dark asked.

"Yeah, some cotton candy, chocolate, a bucket, cake mix-"

"I meant things to help you rest, not your shopping list," Dark interrupted.

"I know, let me finish. I need cotton candy, chocolate, a bucket, some cake mix, a disco ball, popcorn, some chocolate milk, a bag full of candy, and for you to admit I'm handsome," Wilford listed.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and you're handsome," Dark said, refusing most of Wilford's strange requests. Wilford groaned but smiled like an excited child as Dark tossed him a Tiny Box Tim plush.

"I'll be back to check on you, Wilford," Dark said, leaving the pink filled room. The first thing he did was pull out his phone to call the German doctor.

"Zis is Doctah Henrik Fon Schneeblesdein.  Vat do vu vant?" The German doctor asked, sounding slightly irritated.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted something, but I need your help with something important," Dark explained, walking down one of the halls containing a few rooms for Iplier Egos.

"Vat is more himbortant zen zeving Chamezon's sdomach clozed?" Henrik asked, his tone refusing to change.

"Well- wait, what happened to Jameson?" Dark asked, stopping in his tracks at the news of the dapper man getting hurt.

"He folunteered for Marffin's magic trick of cutding zee hazistant in half," Henrik reported. He then paused, letting Dark hear small sounds of moving hands; Jameson was probably signing something.

"I don't care if he sdobed cutting ven vu schtarded crying; it vas ein sdubid idea," Henrik said to the mute man, forgetting he was still on the phone with Dark.

"Henrik, the Iplier's are sick. I need you to check on them and pick up your zombie ego," Dark said though the German's rambling. Henrik stopped talking to Jameson and went back to Dark.

"I'll pe zere afder I zew Chamezon's schtomach clozed," Henrik said. Dark heard a door open on Henrik's side of the phone and a muffled voice speaking, with the overuse of the word Bro.

"Vat do vu need?! I am puzy!" Henrik yelled, causing Dark to pull the phone away from his ear.

"NEIN! I did not ko to zee doctah college to pe called Schneep! It is Doctah Schneeblestein!"

"H̶E̶N̶R̶I̶K̶" Dark yelled, voice echoing through the house and his aura growing larger around him.

"Ja! I'm sdill here! I'll pe zere zoon to check on zee Iblier's und to bick up zee Robbie!! I'm am hincrediply puzy vith all zeze clumzy itiots I liffe vith!" The doctor yelled into the phone. Dark could hear some complaints and hand movement from Henrik's side of the phone as the good doctor ended the call. Dark put his phone in his pocket and went to find the remaining Ipliers and get them in bed.

I know how to spell, I swear- I just put Henrik's lines in a Fake German Accent Translator to Speak/Write. I understand not all German's speak that way, If this offends anybody, I will change it.