Love Is Messy

~𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓷~

^Her Outfit^

I hear the door knock and I leave Lucy's room, wearing some some grey sweats with a lazy black top. Dry tears cover my red face as I walk up to the door. I swing it open and see Asher. I start to close it but he just stops the door and barges in, closing it behind him. I look up at him with pure anger. I wasn't going to let him scare me. 

"Look, I'm sorry. I fucking hate you, but I still shouldn't have said that." He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks down at me. "Your really bad at apologies, asshole." I respond and I see a flash of amusement bolt across his chocolate eyes. "Get out." I growl, crossing my arms. He looks confused and then he's the one crossing his arms. "But I apologized!"

I scoffed and then went back into my room, slamming the door. The nerve he had! To come into my house! Oh wait...he works here. BUT STILL! 

About ten minutes later I hear a knock on the door. I yell 'come in' but it's muffled by the blankets I'm under. But they still hear me. I hear the door click and then close again. I take my covers off and see Asher there, with two bagels. I frown at him, but I shot some glances at the bagels. "I'm sorry." He says softly this time as I sit up. He places the bagels on my nightstand and then he places his hand on my thigh. I glare at him. "This is all a stupid act!" I yell. "I don't have time for boys like you." I go back under the blankets but grab the bagels. "Thanks for the bread though." I mumble.

Once I'm done eating, I head back out to the fridge to fetch some fruit. I look out the window and see Asher running Starly. Anger builds up in me and I run outside, the heat slamming into me like a soccer ball. I find my way into the pin and start yelling at him. "Get away from my horse!" He stops, and turns to look at me. Starly stops running and trots over to me and I put my arm around her. "I work here." He says, dead serious. "Well that's too bad. Go be with your family. Oh, that's right. They probably fucking hate you and the only reason your here is because they disowned you."

He looked furious...like actually furious. His jaw clenches and he tightens his fists. I grab a harness from the side of the pin and wrap it around Starly. I tie her to the pole and exit. I hear Asher follow behind me as I walk into the barn to enter my sister's old office. Then I feel myself getting pushed against the wall. An angry Asher holds my arms up and I yelp in pain because of his hard touch. Once again, he puts his knee in between my legs and pushes out bodies together. All I can think about right now is how much his touch stings. "P-please let go of my arms." I beg, looking into his eyes. "Leave my family out of this. Your right about one thing, my parents don't give a shit about me. At least you have a mother and father you can go home to." He spat out. Sadness clouded over my eyes and I looked down. Tears were beginning to build up, but from both the pain to my cuts, and from thinking about my family. "Go." I whisper, a single tear rolling down my cheek. 

"NO!" He shouts, pushing his nails into one of my cuts and I scream in agony. He looks surprised and let's go. I run away, clutching my arm and running into my house. I fucking hated him. I fucking wanted him to die. I had only been here for two months and I already wanted him dead. I went into Lucy's room and slammed the door. I hid in the corner of the room and pulled up my sleeves. But that got me to think. He had said that I still had parents...which meant he hadn't told Veronica, and I had gotten on his bad side. 

(TW)

Blood is falling again from on of my old cuts. But there was a cut I had done this morning. I had gone a little too deep- almost hitting the nerve- but now that Asher had done this, i'm pretty sure it had hit something. It stung like hell. The cold air finding it's way into the cuts didn't help. I began to cry, holding onto my arm as blood stained my hands. I look up and the image of Lucy hanging re-enters my mind. Then it's like she is actually there. 

"LUCY!" I scream. "COME DOWN!" I start trying to grab onto her feet, but I just grab at loose air, going through her. I start screaming and crying. "LULU!" I shout, as loud as I possibly can. I back into the corner again and scream into my hands. Tears roar across my cheeks, my eyes puffing up. I scream again and this time the door swings open. 

"Holy shit." Asher says, seeing blood all over my hands. Luckily, I had pulled my sleeves up before he could see any of that. "Get the fuck out!" I yell. I bang my head against the wall, trying to knock myself out. I do it harder and harder until Asher pulls me away. "STOP!" He shouts, holding my arms again. "Let me fucking go!" I yell, standing up on weak legs and running into my room. I slam the door and fall onto my bed. I scream into the pillow. 

All I wanted was everyone to come back. Mom, Dad, Lucas...Lucy. My breath hitched at the realization that I had no one left, besides for my grandparents who were always out, trading or doing whatever shit they had. I slam my fists against the wall. I punch and punch and punch until I feel my knuckles start to burn. I don't care. I keep punching as blood falls onto my bed. I back away, falling off my bed. My knuckles and hands are covered in blood, and I get another flash back from when I saw a small trail of blood coming from her neck where it had split in half. "Help." I whisper. "Just help." 

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Okay, so this chapter was a little dramatic...but uh, the part where she was trying to knock herself out happened with my cousin and stuff. Um, I deffinetly did not laugh a little bit-