🏁🔍Saiouma oneshots🔍🏁

'I might not be fine.'

(Quick AN: This contains content with mentions of E/ting D/sorders, please stay cautious if this could harm you 👉👈
Lowkey a vent lol, gender dysphoria sucks ass)

˜”°º×-'Kokichi's POV´-׺°”˜

'This place is suffocating, the silence of these dorms is so loud.
It's weird.
Everything is overwhelming.

The camera watching my every move, I can almost feel whenever it's in use.

The mirror taunting me, questioning every inch of my flesh.

The bearingly empty ceiling, staring at me and begging me to just do something.
Anything at all.

The pictures of my 'peers' on my white board.
They scream, so loud.

Worst thing is, they scream what I already know.

I know I'm ugly,
Selfish,
A horrible person,
And a fat shit.
They don't have to keep reminding me.'

I let out a sigh as I tried to stop thinking so hard. I got off of my bed and stared into my mirror.

'When did I gain weight? I've only eaten once since I got here almost 2 weeks ago.
Why is my body trying to curse me?'

I stared at myself, I wouldn't admit it but I was just skin and bones.

I exhaled deeply and draped one of my shirts over the mirror so I wouldn't have to see myself anymore.
I hated the reflection, so very much.

I turned to the clock on my wall before putting my baggy uniform on.
I had accidentally stayed up all night and the morning announcement was just about to play.

I Burried my insecurities, steadily building my bouncy persona up before exiting my dorm room and heading to the dining hall.

I burst into the room, no one was in so I headed to the kitchen area to grab a grape panta from the fridge.
I took the bottle of sugar and sat in my usual seat at the table.

I sat and stared at the bottle.
'Maybe this is why I'm gaining weight again. I guess this'll be my last one for a while then.'
I sighed.

The morning announcement played, people filing into the room soon afterwards. Saihara took a seat next to me, mostly because kaito was sat opposite to that seat.

'Yeah, I doubt Saihara of all people would want to sit next to me.'
I thought as I hesitantly opened the bottle. I brought it up to my lips with shaky hands, thinking about consuming the purple liquid almost made me want to vomit.

"Fuck..", I whispered,
The room was spinning around me, I tugged at Saihara's sleeve.

"Ah Ouma? Are you alright, you look really pale.." he spoke with a concerned voice.

I placed the bottle down and pushed it far from myself. I swayed a little as I looked back at Saihara.
"Help me out of here.. please."
I mumbled to the other, I hated being vulnerable to these people but I had little choice in this situation.

He stared at me for a moment before nodding as he stood up. He helped me up and placed his arm under mine and across my back to keep me supported.

We made it out of the room and I slowly sat onto the floor, Saihara kneeled next to me and placed his hand onto my forehead.

"You're really burning up.. And your cheekbones are all sunken in." He said with puzzlement.
"Have you been eating properly Ouma..?"

I lifted my knees up and buried my face into them.
"What are you? A doctor?" I glared at the other.
"You can go now, I'm perfectly fine."

He sighed and placed a hand on my knee.
"I'm sorry if I overstepped a boundary, but you need someone to help you I know it.."
He smiled softly at me.
"You can trust me, I'm not going to use your vulnerability as an opportunity to attack, I promise."

I lifted my head and stared at the other, trying to read his expression.
He seemed genuine.

I felt my eyes wetten.
I had no clue why, but Saihara definitely noticed.

"Would you be uncomfortable if I hugged you?"
He questioned with a gentle voice.

I shook my head.
Shuichi smiled and pulled me into a warm embrace.

I felt the tears in my eyes slowly spill out, landing onto Saihara's shoulder.
I gripped the back of his jacket and pressed my head onto his shoulder.

"I might not be fine."