Loki imagines

Breakup- edited

TW: suicidal thoughts
I just realised that it's really triggering, so I'm going to mark that part
Also, kinda binge eating, but that's only hinted.

It's a bit cringey, so yea just a warning-

Loki and I were cuddling in bed, just like always, yet something felt off. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, so I decided to act like usually, until I figured out what it was.

"Loki? You forgot something."
"I did?"
I smiled up at him "My good night kiss."
He bent down a little bit giving me a quick peck on the lips, pulling back way to soon.

Somehow all the pieces clicked into place, finally allowing me to realise just what it was, that bothered me. Loki had gotten over the past few days, which he mostly did if something was seriously wrong. Worry washed over me, mixed with guilt. I knew I should have noticed sooner, but I had been trying to convince myself that I was only imagining things.

Had I done something wrong? Had he done something? I just hoped it wasn't about us and our relationship. One doesn't just fall out of love, so it probably wasn't. Well, unless it has been bothering him for longer and I just realised it now. I tried to shake off the negative thoughts, but still, I had to confront him at one point....

The next morning, when I woke, Loki was already working in the kitchen, dishes clinking against each other.

I forced myself to leave the warm comfortable bed and joined Loki, who was doing the dishes. I prepared some cereal for the both of us, still in unusual silence.

We then ate breakfast together and now I clearly noticed the uncomfortable quietness. I sighed, not able to bear it anymore.
"Loki?"
"Yes?"
"What's going on with you lately?"
"I'm afraid I do not know what you mean."
"Don't give me that crap Loki. You know well what I mean."

When he looked at me, I could see all the different emotions in his eyes, hurt and anger being the most prominent ones.

"Why does something have to be going on with me? Who says it isn't you?"

By now I was getting really irritated. Of course I understood, that he had a hard time trusting people, but so did I. And besides, it hadn't been a problem lately. As far as I knew we did trust each other and most of the time we talked about the stuff that bothered us.

"Really? And what is it you're doing? Keeping secrets from him?", a voice inside my head whispered.
I chose to ignore it and changed my focus back to Loki.

"What? Loki, please, I know this time it isn't me, because you are the one who is shutting me out!"

He jumped up, his chair falling backwards as he did so. "Is that so?! I am shutting you out?! Do you truly think me stupid enough to fall for more of your lies?!"

"What the actual fuck Loki?! What are you even talking about?! I didn't lie to you about anything!"

His face turned red with anger and while up until that point we hadn't screamed at each other, the rage seemed to consume him, the volume of his voice growing steadily.
"HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE LIKE THAT! FOR WHAT EVER REASON, YOU DEEMED IT NECESSARY TO MAKE ME BELIVE YOU LOVED ME! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?! I DON'T CARE. I don't give a shit about you." He spat the last part, before turnig around leaving me in a state of complete shock.

He stopped at the door, looking at me with an expression that could only be described as hatred. It hurt to see that look in his eyes, knowing it was meant for me.

"You don't have to bother to break up with me, because this" he moved his hand between the two of us "is over." And that was it, Loki stormed out of the kitchen, slamming the door closed behind him and left me completly shocked.