TW / / mentions of death and suicide
"Idiot," Josh panted, grabbing Tyler's waist. Tyler pulled roughly. "Tyler stop trying or else we're both going to die," Josh whispered quickly, he pushed Tyler back. Tyler fell on top of him. "Josh," Tyler said, anger clear in his voice. Josh's eyes burned, he hugged Tyler tightly. Tyler couldn't be angry at him, he relaxed in Josh's grip. "Why would you want to leave me here alone?" Josh whispered. Tyler wiped his eyes. "You've tried," Tyler whispered quietly. Josh didn't say anything, it was true. He tightened his grip on Tyler as if he were afraid the taller man would try to run and jump. Man. Tyler hated that, he was a man now. An adult. He didn't want to grow up, the music thing felt like it would never happen so there was no purpose then. Josh held him close. "I don't want to do this alone," Josh whispered. "It's too much," Tyler whispered, "I-I wish I didn't care, I wish I was confident." Josh let tears spill. "Me too," Josh mumbled, he buried his face in Tyler's hair. They both sat there. Tyler held him just as tight.
They drifted to sleep. Tyler's chest rose and fell, he felt Josh's heart beat. They woke up, the sun wasn't up yet. Tyler shivered as they stood up. Josh looked at him, the older's cheeks were tearstained. "Let's go home," Josh whispered. Tyler shook his head, he ran back to the edge. Josh grabbed his hand. "Tyler, please," Josh croaked. Tyler let out a small sigh, he grabbed Josh's hand tightly as they started walking. Josh cried quietly the whole way to their house. Tyler felt ashamed, he had made Josh cry. Tyler rested his head on Josh's shoulder. They unlocked the door to their house, the lived together. Tyler was about to run off to his own room. Josh grabbed his hand. "Please stay," Josh whispered, looking down shamefully. Tyler nodded quietly. They slipped off their shoes.
Now they lay in bed together, no they weren't dating. Josh gripped Tyler's hand as they drifted off to sleep again. Tyler took in his warmth, he loved it. Josh fell asleep before him. Tyler looked at the older man. Josh's arm was slightly bruised after having run flights of stairs to get to Tyler. The goodbye text had sent him into a panic attack instead of crying he decided to run and get Tyler. The brunette was in the same exact place he had attempted. No, it wasn't their passion for music that was killing them. It was their brain, their mentality, their lack of confidence. Tyler's eyes burned with tears, he moved to get out of bed. He didn't care anymore. Josh wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close. "Tyler," Josh whispered, his voice full of sadness. Tyler took a deep breath. "You can't keep me here forever," Tyler whispered, gripping Josh's hand. "I'll try," Josh mumbled. "What are you going to do now?" Tyler asked softly. "Please don't resist," Josh whispered, rolling Tyler over so his best friend was facing him. Tyler looked into Josh's eyes. Tyler's eyes were hopeless, dull, emotionless. Josh shivered gently. Tyler could tell he was on the verge of getting a fever or cold. Josh silently leaned in, near Tyler's face. Josh nervously pulled back for a second before he debated whether leaning back in or just giving up. He shook his head slightly. Tyler didn't move as Josh kissed him. Tyler processed what was happening. His hand slowly grabbed Josh's bicep. The brunette kissed back.
Josh rolled on top of Tyler, the covers slipping off of them. Tyler looked at him with wide eyes. "J-Josh this is a bad idea," Tyler rushed out, he didn't mean it. Josh pulled back. "Sorry," the older whispered. Tyler looked at him. "No-" he kissed Josh. "I'm sorry," Tyler whispered. Josh bit his lip, he connected their chapped lips again.
Tyler clung onto Josh, grunting softly. Josh let out a breath as the rut against each other. Tyler looked up at his best friend. Josh gave him a soft look before quickly connecting their lips. Tyler could tell Josh was on the verge of tears. Tyler's eyes watered, he kissed back hungrily trying to hide his guilt. This felt wrong but he didn't care. Josh grunted softly as Tyler rutted against him. They made out passionately as they rutted against each other. Tyler whimpered, his breath faltering as he felt his edge come near. They pulled away, boxers soaked with precum. Josh pulled off Tyler's jeans.
"Josh," Tyler whispered as Josh removed his boxers. Josh froze, he looked up at Tyler. "Make me want to live," Tyler whispered, looking up at him. Josh swallowed thickly. "Okay, I'll try," Josh whispered, tracing patterns on Tyler's bare thighs. Tyler sat up and kissed him roughly Josh gasped softly. The heated kiss led to Tyler falling back onto his back. They both panted as they pulled away. Josh pulled off his own pants and boxers. Tyler breathed heavily as Josh pushed into him. Tyler cried out, gripping Josh's hand as he slipped in all the way. Josh looked at him with flushed cheeks. "I-I've never done this before," Tyler gasped softly. Josh's eyes widened. "I-I'm sorry," he said quickly. Tyler shook his head. "It's okay, baby. Please put it back in," Tyler whispered. Josh blushed at the name. Tyler moaned softly as Josh pushed in. They looked at each other. Josh rocked his hips gently, barely knocking against Tyler. The brunette kept his eyes on Josh. "O-Oh g-god," Josh breathed. Tyler wrapped around him felt overwhelmingly pleasuring. Josh started at a slow pace. Tyler moaned as Josh sped up. Josh gasped quietly, he gripped Tyler's hips tightly.
"Ah, Josh!" Tyler moaned as Josh pounded into him. Josh moaned lowly, trying to suppress his sounds. Tyler arched his back off the bed. "F-Fuck, h-harder, Josh. Please," Tyler whined, frustrated when he wasn't satisfied. Josh groaned, he grabbed Tyler's thighs before changing his position. The man spread his legs wide, sitting on his knees. Tyler gasped loudly as Josh slammed into him. The slapping of skin sounded through the room, Tyler's beautiful moans filled the room. Josh gasped and moaned occasionally. "Josh!" Tyler cried as Josh hit his prostate. Josh's hips trembled. Tyler's eyes rolled back, his toes curled. His chest tightened and vision went spotted, he felt his body jerk. While Tyler was out Josh had came. Josh's breath caught in his throat as he looked at Tyler.
Josh started breathing heavily. "I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Josh whispered, terrified of what Tyler would think about him now. Tyler's eyes widened as Josh started crying. Josh felt like he couldn't breathe, this was all his fault. His heart raced, the lack of oxygen making him grown dizzy. This was all his fault. His doing, maybe it would have been better if they both died. This was all his fault, all his fault. "J-Josh!" Tyler cried as Josh blacked out.
-
Josh's eyes fluttered open. Tyler cried into Josh's chest. "Wake up, please," Tyler sobbed. Josh looked around, they were at home. Tyler had taken care of him. Josh weakly hugged Tyler. The brunette's eyes widened, he wrapped his arms around Josh.
They cried. It was okay.
Hopefully, they would make it. Not end up lost, scared, dead even.
Was their love for each other enough?
