Helped me in my darkest hour (Jerrie)

7- Pretend It's OK

Jade POV

The next morning I made sure, that I got up on time and nothing like yesterday would happen again. I was still in pain, but it was not as bad as yesterday, therefore I decided to not take any meds and just stay strong throughout the day. When I walked to the door to leave, I saw Jed, he was lying on the couch, still sleeping. There were new bottles on the table and his stuff was just all over the floor, but I did not have time to be upset about that, also I was glad that he was sleeping and I did not have to deal with him right now. I sneaked into the garage, got into my car and started the engine, as I heard the loud sound of the engine starting I suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline in my veins. The garage opened and I drove out of it. I started driving to the studio, when I was at the flashlight I don't know what came over me but as it turned green I pushed the gas pedal completely and my car raced off. I noticed a smile coming over me as I speeded, it felt so good and deliberating. The only thing I felt were the 620 horse powers of the car and the fun this was bringing me, all the worries and pain was gone. But it was only in the moment because suddenly I saw a flash in front of me. And then I was back in the moment, I looked at my speed and I was at 80 mph in a 40 mph zone. I stepped on the brake right away to slow down. I groaned, I knew exactly that there was the radar, I drove here every day but today where was my head?! What was going on with me? Slowly it crept on me that I will probably not get away with just a fine this time.

When I arrived at the office the other girls were already there, they greeted me friendly, they were all so happy that I was back. I tried to pretend to be really excited and happy about it as well, but I did not really work. They were very excited about this performance, I was not. Why was I not excited, what was wrong with me? Singing, performing.. it's my passion why do I feel not excited anymore? I was being ripped out of my thoughts by the girls looking at me.

"Jade?" said Jesy and the others looked at me expecting as well.

"Yes?" I asked having no idea what was going on.

"Do you want to eat something before we get ready?" asked Jesy a bit confused.

"Ehm.. no I'm fine" I shook my head.

"Okay then we can go to make up" said Jesy and the girls got up.

I was continuing to sit there a moment and being angry about myself. 'Jade can you be any more obvious' 'Focus' I was telling myself. Suddenly I was being ripped out of my thoughts again. I flinched as I felt a hand on my shoulder.

Narrator

"Oh" mumbled Perrie somewhat confused by Jade's sharp reaction.

"I'm sorry. I was just a bit lost in thoughts" Jade explained.

"Where is your beautiful mind at?" asked Perrie lovingly.

"Eh nothing... I was just thinking about... the choreo" Jade tried to rescue herself.

"Uh Don't worry Jadey. You will do fine. I know it" Perrie winked.

"Okay... should we go to the others?" Jade got up quickly not wanting to go this conversation into more detail.

"Ehm sure..." Perrie followed her. As she walked behind Jade she shook her head.

Something was wrong and she knew it. When they came into the styling room, Tom was already busy preparing Jesy's make up. Leigh-Anne sat on the couch and was on her phone, as Jade wanted to avoid any conversations she sat down on the second make up chair and was lucky when Alessandro came in. Perrie sat down next to Leigh-Anne on the couch. She looked at her and took out her phone.