Helped me in my darkest hour (Jerrie)

8- I need some fresh air

I wish you all a happy new year. Because I did not update the last days, here is an extra long chapter! I hope y'all had great holidays and now enjoy this chapter!

All the girls drove in Perrie's car, so they would be able to drink, as Perrie volunteered as a driver. Perrie was planning to watch carefully for Jade, she did not want to miss any signs by being drunk.

When they arrived at some pub it was a bit awkward at first, no one really knew what to say, so Jesy put on a funny accent.

"Well.. how bout we get some drinks now?!"

Everyone nodded, so she went to get drinks with Leigh-Anne. While the two were gone it were just Perrie and Jade. Jade just looked at the table, she could feel that Perrie was watching her but she did not want to look at her, afraid that she would give something away or Perrie would start asking questions again. Perrie just watched her, even though Jade had really tired eyes, messy hair and was just looking down, she still looked beautiful, Perrie thought. Jade was literally the most beautiful human she had ever seen, she thought. She shook her eyes for those thoughts and was really glad when the others came back with the drinks. They gave Perrie a coke and had Vodka Lemon for the rest of them. After having very basic conversations about their schedules, the album and the performance today, during which Jade occasionally agreed and nodded, the girls started talking about Andre. They were asking Leigh-Anne how he was doing and so, Jade sensed that they would for sure want have her talking about Jed, what she really wanted to avoid. Therefore, Jade got up and grabbed her jacket and handbag.

"I'm a bit dizzy, I'll just go get some fresh air" she explained and after they offered to come along which she declined, she headed out.

The girls looked at each other. Perrie looked after Jade worried and remembered what she saw earlier.

"Oh Perrie by the way, how was Jade when she went out earlier?" Leigh-Anne looked at her.

"Uhm.. she was kind of just sitting there on the ground on her own" Perrie shrugged.

"Well.. that's weird" Jesy raised an eyebrow.

"Should maybe someone go out and look for her?" Leigh-Anne asked.

Jesy and Perrie nodded slowly, then Perrie offered that she would go, which she did.

Jade was going like 20 meters away from the building and breathed heavily. This whole thing was eating her up, she could not deal with questions about Jed right now. Just when she thought about it, her pain increased. Especially after the dance routine today, her pain was really heavy which she could not admit of course. The alcohol did not help too much, also she did not bring any ibuprofen but the pain was getting worse and worse, so was her anxiety. Therefore, she noticed a packet in her pocket. She pulled the cigarettes out of her jacket and eyed them for a moment considering her options. Yes, it was bad for her health but also worrying was bad for her mental health and she would not be able to head home within the next hour without it being suspicious and having to explain herself. Therefore, she decided that one cigarette would not do more harm than her pain right now. She looked at some guy next to her smoking, asked him for a lighter and breathed in. Being an unexperienced smoker, she started coughing heavily right away. It was her body telling her that this is not good for her, but she did not listen. She took another pull, this time her body's resistance was already less and at the fourth time there was no resistance but only a feeling of calmness overcoming her, which she very much enjoyed. As Perrie left the pub she quickly closed her jacket, it was freezing. Jade was not here, so she looked to the right, there was just dark, then she looked to the left, a couple of smokers were standing there, so she continued looking over to the other side of the road. As she could not see her there, she took another look at both sides, she also could feel her heart starting to race as she was starting to get worried. She was already going to look at the other side again when her head darted back to the left. She saw a girl with a green jacket and curly blonde-brunette hair which looked like Jade, but this person was smoking, so it could not be Jade. She knew that Jade had never smoked, so... well she took a step closer and then she saw the distinct caramel boots, so she knew this must be Jade. She was completely shocked, since when did Jade smoke and first of all, what did Jade make starting to smoke. It only strengthened her worries about Jade's well-being. She thought about confronting Jade but then she thought she would do this at a later time because Jade must be really upset to take the risk of going out to smoke while with them. She certainly did not want to cause any more distress right now, so she decided to walk back inside.