My Love Addiction

(18)

You should go and find someone else (hey)
Who can treat you right. Give you the world (ooh). Someone who understands the man you are. Cause baby you shine so bright. And I would just dim your star. A girl who'll treat you like you treat them. Boy I know there's plenty women. Who would love to have a man like you. But I'm in love with someone else. I'm so sorry baby. I know I ain't right.
-Jasmine Sullivan

Standing in back in New York was a good feeling, but it didn't feel like home. I had just got back late at night since I took a late flight to get back home for this dinner Terrance wanted so badly to have.

I didn't know what to wxpect, but I was open for anything. I wouldn't let it worry me because the only person on my mind was Tunchi.

He was the one who had opened up to me in the smallest words yet, but something that meant so much to me. He not only opened up his words but my body. He made feel some way, maybe it was love. I wasn't quite sure, but I knew that I had a thing for Tunchi and his touch and that I had to tell Terrance.

I was sick of my self and sick of my lying. How could I find someone for me to love when I'm not even being truthful to anyone nor am I being truthful to myself. And I've learned just from two of my friends that I kicked it with back in the day that without the truth, nothing is really real.

"Good to see you here," I heard a voice behind me, making me turn around.

It was Maze, standing in a black spaghetti strapped crop top, a long right black skirt going to her ankles, and a pair of tall six inch black heels.

"What are you doing here, Maze?"

She say down in front of me with a smirk on her face. I just couldn't believe that I was sitting here in front of Maze and that she looked so girly.

"I'm suppose to be meeting Terr--"

"Terrance," she finished for me crossing her arms, but then she stood up. "There he goes right there."

I turned around in my chair to see Terrance. Terrance standing. Why was Terrance standing? He wasn't suppose to be able to walk. I'm just shocked. I don't know what to do. And to put the cherry on the cake, he decided to kiss Maze on her lips.

I know I wasn't suppose to care, but I still did. He use to be mine, he was just mine not too long ago. I don't deserve him now, but I don't deserve this. I don't deserve to be lied too so it him walking.

At that moment, I just had to get up and walk away. We were already outside at a table outside of the restaurant so I didn't have to do anything but walk over to my car, while jogging in my six inch heels. I didn't realize till' now that I was crying. That I was hurt and that I was being pushed back by the hold of someone's arm ontop of mine.

"I need you to look at me Tea. I need to talk to you," Terrance spoke in my ear, but I couldn't stand to hear his voice. I couldn't stand to even be around him right now.

"You lied to me, Terrance. You lied to me!"

"Just like how you lied to me Tea when you said you wanted to take care of me in that wheel chair, but you know you didn't want to take that responsibility, so why lie. Why not tell me that you didn't love me instead of keep saying that you did. why treat ya boy like shit because your not happy and because you really wanted to be with that other nigga!"

I pushed him off of me as more tears flowed down my face.

"You don't understand that I lied because I loved you. I thought I loved you. I lied because I thought that's what was best. But it wasn't, I'll admit that, because I don't love you. I'm in love with another man. And I know it ain't right, but I can't help it, Terrance."

He looked at me. Just looked at me with a look I had never seen before, and next thing I know a tear had dropped down his face. I had never seen Terrance cry exact for the day his life was wrecked because of Aaliyah.

He pushed his hand on my cheek and I let him. I knew I was suppose to be mad about Maze and maybe mad about him being able to walk, but I didn't care. He wasn't mine any more and although he did me wrong, I did him wrong too. So I didn't ask him how long had he been able to walk, were him and maze really cousins, how long had they really been dating, and why he had lied to me and moved me out to New York. Because we both did wrong and we both made wrong decisions.

He rubbed my cheek and began to open his mouth to say something to me and I didn't stop him.

"You are so beautiful Tea and Tunchi deserves you. I know you might not want to know but it had been able to walk even before we came to New York, I just never told you when my trainer and my doctor cleared it. I was being wrk fish loving the way you were treating me, and I really thought I was going to be paralyzed forever. But then I started noticing that you weren't treating me how you use to and that's when I started talking to Maze over the phone. She loved down in New York so that's why I suggested it. And just like you love him, I love her Tea."

I smiled and wrapped my hand around his wrist pushing his hand down from my cheek to my lips, to which they were laid on his palm. I kissed it and then balled his hand up giving it to him as another tear dropped down my face.

"I have to go now," I spoke softly looking him into his eyes one last time before turning and walking off.

I didn't waste time getting into my car and picking up my phone and calling the only person I wanted to talk to at the moment.

Ayo they could never make me hate you

"Hello?"
He answered as I felt the tears flowing from my eyes.

Self-righteous, and entitled
But they swearing on the Bible that they love you

"I know it now Tunchi. I know that I love you. I want only you, baby!"

"Are you sure this is what you want, Tea? Cause when your mine, your mine."

I thought about it. He didn't reject me, he didn't reject the love I had for him. I wanted him now, it took me some time to figure out but I wanted him. And I would do anything to have him.

"I promise."

"Okay, Tea, but I need you to do one thing for me," he said.

I frowned.
"What do you need me to do?"

I could only imagine. But I would do anything to have him.

"I want you to never pick up cocaine again, Tea. I know that ain't you and every time I think about it. I ain't even gone tell you. I just need you to promise me one thing."

"And what is that?"

"I need you to promise me that you'll go to rehab, I'll pay for it and I promise it'll be nice as fuck for you. I just need you to promise me that you'll go and you'll stick it out, and never do that silly shit again?"

"I promise."

Pills and potions
We're overdosing
I'm angry but I still love you

Can't stand it but I still love you

I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still lo-o-ove, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love

So how you are guys enjoying the book? The epilogue is coming up next.