My Love Addiction

(16)

"For what's money without happiness? Or hard times without the people you love."
-J.Cole

TEA AKA "TE'ALA"|

"I can't take it no more, Tunchi," I moaned out in exhaustion from his body heat on top of mine.

I had never felt anything so good. Right now I needed this and so did I last night even though I refused to look in his eyes. I refused to believe that I'm having sex with Tunchi and that it's something I wanted and something that I didn't want to give up.

I didn't know if this was love. I honestly didn't but deep down I was thinking that I wanted it too be. I wanted him too still love me and I wanted to love him back, but I wasn't even sure what love was at the moment. I moaned out in pleasure once I came and in suit he followed behind me.

"Tea," I could hear him breathing hard as he removed himself from inside of me.  "Tea," he called softly in my hear again pushing his hand under the blanket he had wrapped my naked body into, rubbing his hand against my navel. "I know your awake. We need to talk."

I didn't expect that after some mind blowing sex therapy that he would want to talk, but deep down I knew it would come down to it. I just didn't want it too.

I fluttered my eyes open and sat up softly upon the couch, afraid too look in his eyes for two reason. One, from embarrassment and two because I had just opened my legs for my ex bestfriend. "Let's talk, but I want to start T by saying that I'm so embarrassed and I didn't mean to do what I did--"

"See, Tea, that's were you lying starts. I've known you since I was able to talk, we grew up with eachother so I can tell when you bullshitting me and right now that's exactly what you doing. When are you going to be honest for once!" Tea shrugged her shoulders and wiped the tears that had shed from her eyes.

"You just don't understand, Tunchi. You don't understand what I've been going through and you and everybody else in my business isn't helping. I want to love you Tunchi so bad I'm just not sure what love is, but I know right now that's what I want and I'm so sorry about it! I'm sorry about everything! I'm sorry I'm addicted to cocaine and I'm so sorry that I rejected you that day in the hospital when you poured your heart out to me! I'm just sorry Tunchi for everything!"

He didn't do anything but come close and wipe my tears. But I needed to know how he was feeling because of everything I just said. I wasn't sure how he felt and I wanted to know. i just couldn't get a word out because before I could he had brought his lips on to my neck and pecked my collar none while my head was parted to the side.

"You want me to kiss your neck, Tea?"
I nodded my head.

"Say it then."

I cleared my throat and opened my mouth to soak but before I could he had already brought his lips down to my neck and kissed me there softly with his chesiled chest laying snugly on top if the blanket until he pulled it off of my naked body, pushing his hard chest on top of mine.

"Your so fucking beautiful, Tea," he said right before he kissed my lips softly.

Tea then bussed out in tears. She was glad that he thought she was beautiful but she didn't want him to say she was beautiful because she felt ugly.

Maybe it was because of the decisions she had made, or the lies she had told, but she knew she didn't want him letting her feel good when she had done so much wrong.

But, at the same time, she couldn't help but to be selfish. Selfish because she still wanted him to pleasure her body and do sweet things to her that made her feel good in the inside even if she felt like pure shit. So she let him kiss her and didn't stop him either.