Dear Neveah,

17. Dear Neveah

Dear Neveah,

It's the start of sports week and class hasn't been effective either. A lot hasn't been going on either, just my boring old self.

I spent practically the whole day with Lucas in the library. It felt like he was stalking me but he's my only company and we didn't talk much but he was writing stuff in the old brown book that resembled a diary.

It drew my attention and the zenith of my curiosity but I learned over the weeks that he doesn't like to share anything personal with anyone. I really wanted to see why he had to scrunch his brows together at a point. Why he'd have a faint smile on his lips at times, why a sad sigh will escape his lips at a point and how a hopeful smile graces his face. I wanted to know that glow but I know keeping quiet would just be the best option so I did.

I watched him all the while and anytime we locked eyes, a small smile covers his lips and a glow brightens his face. I only hope that was signs of enjoying my company because he doesn't like to express himself which is utterly confusing. Lucas is a mystery, indeed.

Once school was over, we sat in his car again, the scent of his faint cologne, mixed with sweat, mint and smoke engulfing us. The silent ride was only interrupted by jazz and soft hums from him as he drove. It was a good distraction watching him bob his head to the music slowly and carefully driving as if he was driving a million boxes of eggs to the local store.

We got to the mechanic's shop after a lot of hours, ironically to pick up my car only to my disappointment. Every dark cloud has a silver lining, ain't so? I got to see another side of Lucas and how happy he can get. I didn't expect him to ever have a soft spot, after all his hard front. Especially for kids. The happy smiles on his face when he tried to play with her. How hilarious it was when he allowed her to let him play dolls dress up.

My car wasn't ready when we got there so we had the chance to baby sit Morgana. Elliot's little girl. Such a sweet girl she is and how Lucas warmed up to her was so beautiful.

Watching him play with her with genuine smiles and express his interest in all her child play made my stomach flutter.

She wasn't a handful like most kids and even though that made it easier, she still got Lucas to play lots of ridiculous games with her.

After making light conversations with her, cracking jokes to make us all laugh, he threw her over his shoulder, his muscles flexing comfortably, tightening up his shirt sleeves around his arm, earning a long string of giggles and excited squeals from her.

After an hour probably of fun, she fell asleep in his arms, he cradled her gently and carefully, as if she was a egg that would break. Planting a soft kiss on her forehead was all it took for  me to get all melted and a blushing mess. Who would've thought Colton Clarke would be sweet to kids, after all his scary persona?

Why didn't he want to show this part of him to the world? Why didn't he want the world to see the glow that lights up his face when he smiles? Did he like all everyone said about him? It's worrisome how he's nonchalant to social stigma. How he keeps everything in and doesn't show a single care.

Is that why he fights? To let out all he has haboured inside? Is that why he writes in his old book? Is he writing someone a letter too? Why can't he vent to me? Or I'm not understanding enough. I hope that isn't the case because I want to know him. What makes him happy, what annoys him, what TV shows he likes best, his favorite person in the world and how he spends his free time. I want to know everything about him.

Soon after that, we were left alone, a sleeping Morgana in Lucas' arms. A embarrassed look was on his face but I gave him a small smile. The silence between us grew some tension between us and I've never had to think of something appropriate to say till then. Fiddling my fingers like a second grader, I stared down at my shoes while I felt his eyes scanning me , probably thinking of what to say.

Elliot came in later to pick up his girl and thanked us for baby sitting her, disappearing moments after. The silence between us grew thicker till Eric called us to check up on the car.  After a few words, Lucas got into his car and drove off, leaving me alone there.

I'm sure going to miss that homey scent in his car and watching him bob his head rhythmically to every beat. It's getting frustrating how I'm now chosing his company over my much more comfortable car.

I'll let everything stay the way it is and hope for the best. I'll keep you updated on anything that happens, just say a prayer for me so everything will go well. There's noise coming from downstairs so I'll end here and go check. It may be the pathetic excuse of a mother I have. I'll write to you tomorrow.

Yours truly,
Alli.

Uhhhh...this is just a filler, I'll write the rest of the chapters more frequently, I promise. Please tell me what you think and vote if you liked it .