Are you an Aspie who's in the struggle to find oneself?
Don't worry! You've officially found a safe space here!
Hi! I'm Janu_K! I am a teen Aspie, whose goal is to discover more about being an Aspie and learn to understand not just myself, but as pa...
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Where. Do. I. Start. With. This?!
Consistency is something that's been a huge challenge for me to keep it consistent.
Yeah, see that?
Anyways!
One time, during my maths tuition, my teacher told me that to improve I will have to practise Maths every day with consistency (he emphasises the word so much it got stuck in my mind like a deluded person).
So I began to schedule my Maths-Time and followed it accordingly.
It's like one day I'm so passionate about it, and the next I wasn't. It's like a switch that randomly flickers as it wishes, and it sets my whole mood as I do the equations.
I tried so hard to keep it going until I just had enough and threw the whole schedule down after months of following it.
Maybe partly because of my profound hatred of maths or anything to do with number-related calculations (my mum thinks I have a mental block against Maths).
But that was the time where I learned my huge struggle to be consistent at all times. It doesn't matter what the task is, even the things I'm most passionate about struggles with consistency.
Why? I couldn't explain myself either.
In the statement above, I could 100% relate to that!
One moment I could be a social butterfly with no worries whatsoever, and the next I feel so drained until I was overthinking every word that comes out of my mouth.
One day I could be the crazy girl that made everyone laugh until they were clutching their stomachs, and the next I was that anti-social girl that was sitting in a corner reading a book or scrolling through her phone.
One day I could be the brightest star that gives hope to everyone, and next the low star girl that everyone wrongfully looked up to.
You see the pattern here?
Plus, this is not the normal consistency struggle that everyone faces in their daily lives. This is much more different than I don't think others will understand—we set our bars high at some point, but normal times we would struggle to meet our standards, which becomes our unrealistic expectations of ourselves.
And people expect us to follow our standards, which didn't make anything easier.
Sometimes, we even drop without even ourselves knowing!
And because of that, we feel so pressured and stressed to meet up to our standards until one will find ourselves on constant eggshells whenever we walk.
Falling under the Autism Spectrum group is such a common thing for me—but I still am working on it while I was able to. Whether it comes from the academic side or even sporting activities, I'm still trying to find a solution that could help me to ace consistency.
Does anyone have a solution(s) that you would like to share with me? Let me know in the comments!
Author's Note: I hope everyone is having a good time with their holidays! The year is coming to an end, so look forward to it and kick 2020 in its ass!
