Am I a lesbian? (the lesbian masterdoc)

Attraction VS. Compulsory Heterosexuality

Nervousness and Blushing

A ton of romance media and common cultural tropes have this idea that you know you're attracted to someone if you're nervous or blushing around them. Because of this, you might feel like you must be attracted to a man if you feel nervous around him, just because you're experiencing the physical bodily response you've been told to expect, not because you actually want to date him.

Actual Attraction: You're nervous because you're excited to get to know someone.You find them attractive first and because you're thinking about your attraction to them, you get self conscious because you hope they might like you too.

Compulsory Heterosexuality: You're nervous because you are aware that he is attracted to you, and because he's paying such close attention to you- especially if he's pushing boundaries or getting too close into your personal space- you become self conscious because you know he's watching you. You blush because you're uncomfortable

Hypothetical Attraction
Many questioning women have a hard time sorting through their attraction because of hypotheticals. Our culture, in general, disregards or challenges wlw's attraction and it gives this anxiety that we need to know 100% that we are not and will never be attracted to men no matter what in order to claim labels. It's hard to do that as a young person who is just learning about themselves, flooded with "what if"s about the future. Because of this, you might feel like you can't rule out being attracted to men because you might hypothetically be attracted to one someday. Who knows?

Actual Attraction: You imagine a hypothetical future where you end up with a man and it feels exciting and makes you feel good and hopeful and happy and right. It's a nice feeling and is comfortable to think about. Reassuring.

Compulsory Heterosexuality:You imagine a hypothetical future where you end up with a man and it makes you feel uncomfortable, scared, sad, disappointed, wrong. It's an upsetting thing to think about and you hope it doesn't happen. You don't want to end up with a man even if you feel like you could.