Sex and Intimacy with men
● Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted
● OR: preferring to ‘be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore
● Having to be drunk or high to have sex with men
● The idea of kissing, cuddling, dating and/or having sex with men is really
scary/anxiety inducing, and the idea of doing any of those things with women isn’t (or is noticeably less scary)
● Your fantasies about men still somehow turn out to be a little gay. Maybe you’re penetrating him, you don’t have to look at his face/don’t want to look at his face, you want a threesome with another woman, he’s very feminine, etc. It might be a “straight fantasy” but you’ve altered it in a way straight people might not be
totally interested in.
● Thinking because you don't like/pursue sex with men you must be asexual. Or vice versa with romance for men.
● Your fantasies about men give you intense distress or anxiety. They could be intrusive thoughts, forms of self-harm, or otherwise.
● When I think about guys, I think about all the things that I could tolerate doing with them (dating, kissing, sex, marriage) but always in terms of what I could force myself to do, not what I want to do.
● Being around guys that are interested in me gives me intense anxiety.
● feeling weird/wrong calling your past boyfriends pet names or showing them pda, but gladly showing your girl friend’s pda.
● Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred
● Using sex with men as a form of self-harm
● You don’t have much of an emotional reaction to kissing or being otherwise physical with a man, or you even dislike/hate it
● Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason)
● Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it
● Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him
● Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing
● Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted”
YOU ARE READING
Am I a lesbian? (the lesbian masterdoc)
No FicciónDISCLAIMER!! I am not claiming the lesbian masterdoc I just wanted to share it with all of you. I wanted to help people find this "masterdoc" because it might be hard to find somewhere else. Essentially, the Lesbian Masterdoc is a document that has...
