Am I a lesbian? (the lesbian masterdoc)

Conclusion

Women can have conflicting feelings for men in a multitude of ways due to misogyny and the patriarchy that oppresses us. You may be reading this and start to question yourself after relating to most of these and that’s okay.

If you are unsure or questioning, feel free to try on the lesbian label as well. If you come to the conclusion that you are not a lesbian eventually, that’s okay too. These are the most common signs of compulsory heterosexuality. Plenty of lesbians still struggle with compulsory heterosexuality.

There are other ways compulsory heterosexuality may manifest itself as well. You don’t have to relate to all of these to identify as a lesbian. I’d like to assure you that even though you currently have a boyfriend, a husband, or had one in the past, that this does not make you any less of a lesbian.

If you’ve had sex with men, you’re not any less of a lesbian. You can still be a lesbian if you’re a trans woman / nonbinary too, if you feel a connected to womanhood through your love of other women. Nonbinary and trans lesbians have always existed as well, such as Leslie Feinberg and her most famous book Stone Butch Blues that entices this.

Plenty of lesbians feel alienated for being lesbians and are gender nonconforming or dysphoric. Lesbian is not a dirty word. Do not settle for men if you don’t think you can ever be truly happy ending up with one. Being a lesbian is healing and loving women as a lesbian does not make you predatory in any way. I hope you can do some soul searching and figure out your consciousness.