It Gets Dark

10:44

its very very dark. not in my room
but everywhere else inside of me
empty.
its like i wanna cry. i need to cry
god i havent cried in so long
i havent had someone in so long
i need someone.
i dont care who at this point.
god please please please im begging you i need someone to care, to hold me.

im begging you.
i dont do that very often
but i cant seem to love the things i used to
or love my family or friends
or myself.

i dont know if i ever loved myself from the start
i didnt in grade 5
and i still dont now.
thats very tiring
hating myself for that long
feeling like im nothing that long
and nobody cares
nobody cares
nobody gives a single fuck about me
nobody would need me
or cry about me
sure maybe for a bit but everyone moves on.

im sorry for speaking like this
its just very dark today
i need someone now more then ever. please someone just hear me.