It Gets Dark

2:33am

the things i like...i think.

the snow, the light fluffy snow thats pure white and shimmers when the sun hits it the right way, almost as if its just begging for something.

the smell after it rains, especially in the woods. i think that explains itself.

hugs from certain people. you know the kind of people who know you need someone to just hold you and they know how to do it the right way, they just wrap their arms around you in the way that makes you feel so protected, like nothing can hurt you. i miss hugs like that, i think i need one soon.

books, every type of book. paperback, hardcover, online books, leather books, especially the old leather books. just walking into a book store or a library and being hit by the smell of stories, the stories people made up, being able to read peoples thoughts, how their brain worked while writing. its truly amazing

him. i know he doesnt even think about me anymore, but lately hes all my poems are about. i cant stop thinking about him, no matter how many guys i talk to, its like im always comparing them to him. i still remember everything he used to tell me
his favourite colour is yellow.
his birthday is september 7th.
he either wanted to go into baseball or get into building pcs or programming.
he wanted 2 kids even thought he would always say we could have as many as i wanted.
although him and his mom didnt get along he would still listen to her
i remember all the calls we would have, its pretty hard to forget the...special ones
but the one were i fell asleep because i was just to tired to get out of bed, he only wanted to hear my voice even if i fell asleep, but i remember him talking to me while i was falling asleep and all i could manage was just a small little noise back, he said he thought it was the cutest thing. he stayed on the call with me all while i was asleep, even when his mom came in he would mute himself so she wouldnt wake me up. i miss how he cared for me
i miss him so much, i really just want him back i hate the way it ended.

i realize this became about him, but i guess hes one of the main things i still love.
im sorry.