Died Again

Determined to Stay

I didn't realize I passed out from the pain, but when I woke I was back in the hospital wing. I looked around, but as soon as I tried to get up there was a throbbing in my head. I winced at the pain, but tried to fight through it. Memories were flashing in my head, and tears began to build and fall. I stared blankly at the sheets wrapped around me, as I cried. I didn't hear the door open, but I soon felt a presence standing next to my bed.

"I did it..." I croaked out, "I killed myself."

"(Y/n)...." the voice that rang out was Yukio's .

I could hear the pain in his voice, and it made my vision blur as the tears fell harder. I didn't want to believe it. Life was bad, and I was alone, but I-I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have, there was more than that just the pain...right? 

"(Y/n), please look at me," Yukio urged.

I shook my head, how can I face anyone? I finally have people that care about me, and that I care for. How can I face them knowing what I know now. I mean Satan is in my head and I killed myself!!

Yukio touched my shoulder and sat next to me on the bed. Soon he engulfed me in a hug. Upon contact, I grabbed him and pulled him close. I let the sobs rack my body as I tightened my grip on him, as if I would disappear again. 

"It's okay, let it all out," Yukio cooed. 

After a few moments of sobbing, my body ached and I grew tired. My eyes stung despite how badly I wanted to close them. I suddenly felt a weight on the foot of my bed. It was Kuro. He looked tired, as well. I soon slowly let go of Yukio and opened my arms to Kuro. With tears in his eyes, he leapt into my arms. 

"I'm sorry!" I cried out. 

Kuro shook his head, as if to say that it wasn't my fault. But it felt like it was. I killed myself and then came back just to put them in danger. I hated myself, but I can't do it again. I don't want to die again. Everything is different now. 

"I'm tired," I looked up towards Yukio, whilst petting Kuro.

"You should rest, Rin will be by later to check on you. And if you're up for it there are a few people that have missed you," Yukio smiled weakly.

I nodded slowly and shifted to lay comfortable with Kuro by my side. A nap sounds good. My eyelids slowly closed on their own and I drifted to sleep. 

~TIME SKIP~

I was finally released from the hospital. Extra security was assigned to me in case there was a demon attack. I haven't heard from him yet. It's been quiet. Too quiet. Oddly I miss him. I got to see everyone again. Ryu-kun was angry, but I could tell that he was just worried. Even Izumu looked concerned! Sheimi was crying when she came into the room, so much so that I had to reassure her that I was okay. Shima and Maru-kun brought balloons and a teddy bear which was sweet. 

I was now on my way home with Ryu-kun as my escort. He refused to let anyone else do it. The site made me laugh. That shocked the group, but they smiled in content at my laughter. Yukio and Rin happened to be busy as well, I assumed they were looking into the connected demon incidents regarding Satan and myself. I felt bad, I didn't want them to work so hard because of me. 

"Hey," Ryu began. 

I hummed in response, but didn't give him my full attention. 

He grabbed my hand and stopped us in our tracks, "You're okay now, and-and I'm glad. So don't go doing stupid things like pushing us away, okay? If-If something is on your mind, tell us. Got it, idiot?!"

"Ryu," tears sprouted from my eyes, and I nodded. 

"Tch," He suddenly wrapped me in a tight hug, "Dummy."

I laughed and nuzzled in his chest, soon pulling away to wipe my tears away. I noticed him looking away with pink dusting his cheeks. I smiled, and then grabbed his hand and continued to walk back to the dorms. 

I peeked at his face, and it was bright red. I giggled, and he grumbled out something inaudible to me. I smiled and pulled him along. He was just too easy to tease. 

Alright, I've decided! I'm going to live my best life with these people. No fear, just courage to live. I'm going to become an exorcist and I will find Satan and confront him!