Died Again

Replay

A few more weeks passed and I had stopped going out altogether. I knew the twins were worried. They had brought food to me when they saw that I didn't come down for food. I had locked the dorm door so they couldn't get in. I didn't even let Kuro in. I sensed him waiting for me outside of my dorm each day. But the voice in my head was driving me crazy. He said I wasn't safe, and the paranoia only grew of what I wasn't safe from. It was all starting to be too much. I couldn't sleep and I hardly ate. I looked like a complete mess. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't intend to harm you like this," the voice came.

"Why can't you tell me anything? Why do I have to be left in the dark?" I started getting aggravated.

"I-I fear that once you know that you will come to hate me. You just remind me so much of her, that I can't bring myself to let anything happen to you."

"I don't understand!"

"Please be a little more patient, the Japanese branch is working on detaining the demons that are after you."

"But they'll never stop, right? They'll keep coming....?"

"Yes. But if you would just allow me to, I can provide you with strength."

"We've gone over this, you said that it might not even work if you do! What then?!" I only grew more frustrated. 

"I know...but I can't bear to lose you again."

"Again? When did you lose me before?"

The voice became silent for a few minutes. I waited with bated breath for his answer. I looked to the scars on my wrist, and tears began to form. That day when those girls pushed me...I can't remember the day after that. Did I? Did they? I began to replay the last day I remember frame by frame like a movie in my head. I became like a broken record player just repeating the last few moments of that day. 

~Flashback~

I had finally made it back home, the house was empty as per usual. My father probably out drinking away his life, and my mother was on a "business" trip. But I knew better. She had found herself someone other than my father to bang. She hated this life as much as I did, maybe even more.

I found myself in my room with music loudly blaring. It almost became deafening. I laid in bed letting the music consume me. I heard small tap at my window, it was the stray I let stay in my room when I was home. The one with the fiery blue eyes. It was almost like a fire ablaze. They were beautiful. I called him Lucifer. Even bought a collar so the pound doesn't take him off the streets. 

I let him into the room and he began to brush up against me asking for attention. I went to pet him, when I hissed in pain. I recoiled my hand back. He looked at me in concern. 

"I'm fine Luce, just gotta go put some ice on it,"  I pet him with my other hand. 

I got up and headed to the kitchen, I grabbed some ice and placed it in a small towel. I rested in on my hand gently, nursing it as to be careful not to injure it further. I sighed in discontent. I went back to the room and started on my homework. 

A couple hours passed and the front door opened, it was my father. I knew he was drunk, and I couldn't be bothered. I locked my bedroom door, knowing well what he was about to do. A few silent moments passed before I heard glass shatter and wood breaking. He was making a mess of the house like usual. I knew that my neighbors would call the police soon. I could never bring myself to, despite the danger I put myself in. Then came the banging on the door. 

"Let me in you inconsiderate waste of space!" He insulted me.

There was a pang in my heart, "I-I know you don't mean that."

"Listen here you little good for nothing piece of trash, don't you dare talk back to me! I know what I said and I say what I mean!" He slurred his words. 

I could hear the sirens not to far off. And once they came and took him away. I was alone again. I cleaned up the mess he made, and then tried to sleep. Lucifer snuggled up to me in comfort. And then I closed my eyes.

~End of Flashback~

After I close my eyes, it's all just blank. And every time I try to remember I get a massive headache. I couldn't sleep as I replayed the event in my head. Trying my best to remember. I couldn't have? Life was bad, but I.....I was giving up....Did I give up?